No one understands him, so Rob deleted his membership. I went through an out patient treatment program and 2 nights a week we had relapse prevention group. It met Wedesday and Friday from 7:30 to 9:00 PM. There was this pot addict and he could make it from Wed to Fri clean but couldn't make it from Fri to Wed. I was going to 5 meeting a week and offered to take him but he only went with us once and then left at the break. Since he never stop using he couldn't relapse and didn't beong in the group so he left and I never saw him again. Even though this was a real cupcake program less then 25 % of the people completed it. One of the guys who I hung with and who completed the program later relapsed and never could stay clean. He died in a house fire with blood alcohol level of .29. So even though his death cert didn't lis alcohol as the cause of death it was. This disease kills people on every day. It kills the alcoholic and it kills those that get in his way. We can only keep what we have by giving it away. So we try so hard to help those who are new to recovery. Every alcoholic is co-dependent to some extent and we must always remenber to carry the message not the alcoholic. I've been attending the same Friday night meeting for 6 years since I move to the Sacramento area and I've seen newcomer come and go, I've seen oldtimer disappear and I've seen people go in and out and the finally GET IT. There's alot of heartbreak in the rooms and joy. Recovery is not for Boys and Girls but for Men and Women. Rob, I do understand you, I've been where you've been and I've done what you've done. I hope you GET IT someday.
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Work like you don't need the money
Love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like no one is watching.
I felt the same way Bob...and went the same route..and thought that noone really understood me either...
I was always looking for the easier softer ways...
A lot of those old boys back a number of years ago...didnt pull any punches...they told it like it was...and it was pretty tough love..
I walked out of a lot of meetings...with anger and resentment...
But looking back..I just wasnt ready....had to go all the way down to the bottom..
Some get to that point and die...and some make it back...
I saw an oldtimer..not that long ago ...pick up a drink at 34 years sober...he died a week later...
They come and they go....Ive seen a lot on this board come and go...a select few make it back...some have moved on...some are still out there or dead...Its serious shit...
They used to tell me to sit down..shut up..and listen...sometimes I think we are too soft..
However ....we can only do, what we can do...and thats carry the message...with compassion...love...and understanding..
Have a good night bud...
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"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
Thank you for starting this thread Bob/Robert and adding to it Phil And Joni already got her thanks. I'm new here but when I saw the responses to Robs posting I had to check his profile and previous posts. The reason for the terse responses became instantly clear. I feel bad for him and I think we all do because I believe that most of us have been in his situation; just not willing to accept the truth of the addiction and the need to give it up before it kills you and perhaps some innocents who just happen to be around you. Oh well... I hope that thread of sanity that's been telling him he needs to see a doctor overrides the addict in him...Tim
P.S. I just came from the "Funny" thread below and was just light with humor until I read this. The truth needs to be told though. Guess I'll go back and read it again. G'night all.
-- Edited by timverton at 00:01, 2006-08-23
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"We posess the eyes through which the universe gazes with wonder upon its own majesty."
It sure was my own Coda stuff, that got me, "carry the message, not the Alcoholic" Amen to that. I really have to say that I really appreciate and learn from you whenever you Post, never any personal BS, just Solid Program all the way.
Thanks for putting this Post up, I had not noticed that he had left. We can all relate to that head spinning, when we were not done, and as you said Phil, some of us take it to the end of the line, and it is touch and go, for many, makes me realize just how damn lucky that it did not take me.
This is a Life and Death Illness, with very grave statistics to it. We all share, some of the people that we loved in this Program, turn around and become just a Vital Statistic in the newpaper. It can happen to any of us any day of the week, thank God it is only a 24 hour Program.
And maybe someday, hopefully we will see Rob come back, with a Desire to put that Plug in that Jug. It was amazing to see him say that we did not understand him, we all understood him, and everything thing he ever wrote, more than he will ever know, we have all been there, holding out, and done just what he is doing now, leaving.
I was exactly where Rob was for a long time. I just 'knew' that nobody understood me and that I was 'beyond help'. I went to AA for eight weeks and thought that I had been 'cured'. When I went back out, it just badly went downhill for eighteen months. If I hadn't found the strength to crawl back to AA I may well have died by now.
I just hope that Rob will find his way back to AA and to here without having to go all the way down to the bottom of alcoholism. It was so very frustrating, for me, not to be able to say something that might have made a difference to him. I will keep him in my prayers.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
I was exactly where Rob was for a long time. I just 'knew' that nobody understood me and that I was 'beyond help'. I went to AA for eight weeks and thought that I had been 'cured'. When I went back out, it just badly went downhill for eighteen months. If I hadn't found the strength to crawl back to AA I may well have died by now.
I just hope that Rob will find his way back to AA and to here without having to go all the way down to the bottom of alcoholism. It was so very frustrating, for me, not to be able to say something that might have made a difference to him. I will keep him in my prayers.
Take care,
Carol
Rob needs to find his way to AA not back to. He was never an AA, he was on the outside looking in, constantly making excuses why he could got throught the door. Reminds me of the Garth Brooks song "Standing Outside the Fire" Hey Rob it warm and safe here by the fire you should come in from the cold and join us in this fellowship, it's not so bad once you get used to it.
__________________
Work like you don't need the money
Love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like no one is watching.
