I am glad to have found this site. For the past 3 years I have had nothing but bad luck, I was engaged to the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with we lived together for 5 years, in he went from prince charming to being verbally abusive then to breaking up with me with no consience what so ever. It's been down hill ever since. I had to go back in with my parents, leave my dog with him, and lost the life of luxury I had become acustom to, vacations, boats, jewerly etc. Then I left my job in hopes of finding a better one and that's been 2 years ago. I am currently unemployed, my unemployeement ran out. My mother had a brain tumor removed and my brother was in an explosion. I even had to get rid of my gym membership because I could not afford it anymore(now I'll probabally gain 40 pounds) Needless to say I have been under so much stress. A couple of months ago I was pulled over and my car was impounded because I didn't realize it was not registared. Hence, the start of the panic attacks. I keep telling my self my luck will get better and pray to god it will but it only gets worse........while my ex's get better. To me it's not fair I have a Bachelors degree, I was a double major, But in my field(teacher) where I live the job market is oversaturated. For everyone teaching position there are 170 applicants, so it is very political.
All of that said I have too much time on my hands and not self-esteem because of my last relationship, I know I drink way to much I go to the local bar everyday just to get out of the house to socialize. But I would like to meet people who don't want to drink, so this is a great site for me.
Sounds like you have a lot going on, yes. I can relate to some of the feelings you have about life being 'unfair' at times. But many of us through the help of Alcoholics Anonymous have been able to stay sober one day at a time, and get through a lot of negative things and on to a much better life.
Well a hearty WELCOME to you Berryboy! Boy, life can get really unpleasant sometimes and it sounds like you're going through a series of hard knocks. Know that the drinking, even for the purpose of socializing, isn't going to help but more hinder your situation and decision-making during these rough times. You will learn from these experiences and be a stronger human being because of them. It's just that so often, life's lessons aren't always very pleasant. We have all had our share and sometimes more than.
You don't say in your profile where you are located. I know the job market for teachers here in Ca. is great. Ever think of changing your location? Starting anew somewhere else? Sometimes it's easier to do that. Leave the old friends, significant others, and your normal routine behind and begin from scratch. I've done it and it IS starting over, not running. Don't get me wrong, I'm not recommending you do this, it's just an "out there" option. As far as you stating that your ex's life is getting better; forget about him and his life unless you see the possibilty of getting back together, and you don't sound as though you enjoyed the abuse. It is now your past.
I don't know what else to say to help ease your mind during these times, but I'm sure others will commiserate. Just don't seek solutions in chemicals foreign to your body and mind. It doesn't work. Ever.
Good fortune, and keep coming back!...Tim
-- Edited by timverton at 17:19, 2006-08-22
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"We posess the eyes through which the universe gazes with wonder upon its own majesty."
Welcome to this great board. I've been coming here for a few months and it really helps my sobriety in between AA meetings. I pop here several times a day and read and post as much I want to. It's good to see you here.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road your trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and its turns, As everyone of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about When they might have won, had they stuck it out. Don't give up though the pace seems slow, You may succeed with another blow.
Often the struggler has given up When he might have captured the victors cup; And he learned too late when the night came down, How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out The silver tint of the clouds of doubt And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far; So stick to the fight when your hardest hit, It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit!
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"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
-- Edited by Doll at 18:27, 2006-08-22
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Hey there! Glad you stumbled onto this site! Everyone here has been very supportive, which I'm sure you'll find! Keep coming back! Your story is much like mine...prince charming turns mean, back with parents, drinking to fit in and overcome the seclusion, panic attacks, money issues, unemployment....not to make it a post about me, but to let you know you're totally not alone!
I'm newly sober and I hope for that to be your path too! Sounds like you want it....reach for it! It's there!
Thanks for the nice word it is hard for me to here nice words. Like I was telling other people my user name is my dogs name but I realized people are probably saying is this a guy or girl im all girl through and through
just a little slow on the draw today, but just wanted to add to the Welcomes.
If you have a problem with Alcohol, you have definitely come to the right place.
We have the 12 Steps of Recovery, that are applied to the Disease of Alcoholism, and those steps are the way out of the Disease of Alcoholism.
And if you are not an alcoholic, those Steps can be utilized for any person that wants to get himself up and out of any of lifes problems, and it sure seems like you have had a big dose of those. We learn, through those Step to apply the principles of Powerlessness, can change our attitude about drinking, and then as time goes by, we can apply that same Priciple of Powerlessness over any of life's obstacles.
Looking forward to getting to know you, this is a fantastic Website, full of such positive people and we are here for all who want to join us. Hope that you will stay and get to know us too.
Toni
PS, Just wanted to add that your comment about "most of my friends are dogs" made me laugh, someone was saying that to me just a few days ago, when he was talking about problems with people.
I've been to California several times and just don't really like it. I'm from N.J. and never lived anywhere but. But thanks for the insite. I have thought about Florida it's closer.
