In many instances we shall find that though the harm done others has not been great, the emotional harm we have done ourselves has. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 79
Have you ever thought that the harm you did a business associate, or perhaps a family member, was so slight that it really didn't deserve an apology because they probably wouldn't remember it anyway? If that person, and the wrong done to him, keeps coming to mind, time and again, causing an uneasy or perhaps guilty feeling, then I put that person's name at the top of my "amends list," and become willing to make a sincere apology, knowing I will feel calm and relaxed about that person once this very important part of my recovery is accomplished.
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
There have been times that my conscience has cause me to literally writhe in torment....usually over how thoughtless I was capable of being, even when what I did may not have seemed like as much to the other person/persons. I have been disgusted with myself for the fact that I behaved with such disregard to great emotional harm that I might have caused to someone else.
Yes, making amends truly does bring a tremendous relief.
There have been times that my conscience has cause me to literally writhe in torment....
Yes, making amends truly does bring a tremendous relief.
I know that feeling all too well, Dan. In Feb 2004 I had a falling out with my friend M.E.and I left her at a bar! (go figure). We didn't speak for almost a year. She became very ill in that time and I was able to make myself call once and ask if I could do anything. I never apologized to her even though I wanted to, I just couldn't. So, I continued to blame her for what happened, all the while knowing it was me. She died May 23, 2005 and I never got to say "I'm sorry." Today, I take a little comfort in the fact that I went to AA in July 2005 and my sponsor says that, staying sober and working the program is my amends to M.E. Some days it feels OK, but some days it still doesn't feel like enough........
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
