Once I learned how to accept a call from a prison, Sunny Lynne and I connected. (first time, I didn't do something right, and it disconnected. I was scared to death she'd think I was rejecting her call.) So after ten minutes of nausea and spinning, she tried again and this time it worked. We crammed as much as we could cram into 15 minutes. She's working in the law library, taking classes in Hebrew. Said she feels better than she has in years, being drug free (altho she said that drugs are more available there than they were at home.), not involved in a relationship, and receiving counseling. She sounded so centered and good. We didn't discuss anything legal, just how she is, how I am, and oh, lord, to hear her voice after these years past, and she wasn't high, and even tho she's still got atleast 18 years to go, I feel like she's more my daughter than ever before. Like, she's been gone and now she's back. I feel so sweet sad inside. I want to hold her, I want to shake her, but mostly I just want her to know how much I love her. Thank you for the kind words everyone sent. I think I'll go stand in the shower now....love chris
__________________
i found god in myself/and I loved her/i loved her fiercely--Ntozake Shange
Didn't want to say before, but, when I read your earlier post, I honestly had an overwhelming sense come over me about your upcoming conversation with your daughter. What you just described is uncannily close to what I felt was going to happen, as I was thinking of you and her.
I'm so happy for you. Sounds like you made a great start to a new relationship with your daughter.
I kind of know how you felt. The only thing is that I was on the other side of the conversation, being locked up. Just have to let you know, from my perspective, any kind of contact while incarcerated with family/friends on the outside is the most important thing in the world. Letters and phone calls are so wonderful. When they pass out mail everyone waits at their cells, just praying they get something, even a piece of junk mail is something to talk about!!!!!
Thank you, All, for your support. I dont need to explain, reading your words, what each one meant to me. I know eighteen years is a long time, but Justin, when I read your words about while incarcerated? I thought, I do hope that our reconnection continues after she's home. Of course, sitting here with a cigarette in my face, I hope I"m still around when she gets out. Sheesh, I'll be 73. LOL, damn, just saying that makes my joints start to ache. (whoops, Sorry Phil, I know you're 'up there', hope I didn't hurt your feelings. Or cause you any umbrage, rofl).
wren
__________________
i found god in myself/and I loved her/i loved her fiercely--Ntozake Shange
Wow Wren, that is really great. I work in a jail (no, I won't say where!) and I see people come there everyday loaded up on just about anything you could possibly think of. Most of them are incredibly belligerent, very stand-offish, violent, arrogant, you name it, I've seen it. But, sometimes in a few short weeks, once the stuff has left their system, they seem to be pretty good people. Then, unfortunately, they get out and go right back to doing what they were doing, hanging out in the same old places with the same old playmates and doing the same old things, and it is very disappointing when I see them come back (sometimes litterally hours after they have been released from the facility) loaded up again. I guess that's why I am so glad when I hear what appears to be a success story like your daughter. Even though she is in a place where her bad choices have put her, she has managed to get clean. I hope everything works out for her and you as well.
__________________
"When many hundreds of people are able to say that consciousness of the Presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith."
-We agnostics in the AA book
) and I see people come there everyday loaded up on just about anything you could possibly think of. Most of them are incredibly belligerent, very stand-offish, violent, arrogant, you name it, I've seen it. But, sometimes in a few short weeks, once the stuff has left their system, they seem to be pretty good people. Then, unfortunately, they get out and go right back to doing what they were doing, hanging out in the same old places with the same old playmates and doing the same old things, and it is very disappointing when I see them come back (sometimes litterally hours after they have been released from the facility) loaded up again. I guess that's why I am so glad when I hear what appears to be a success story like your daughter. Even though she is in a place where her bad choices have put her, she has managed to get clean. I hope everything works out for her and you as well.
