I have a slight problem and if anyone could offer any advice or suggestions, then that would be great. I would really appreciate it.
It's my parents golden wedding anniversary next week and I am due to go and spend some time with them. As I'm an only child, getting out of going is proving a little tricky. They both know that I used to be a very heavy drinker and that I have stopped, but they don't know that I am an alcoholic and attend regular AA meetings.
My mother has always been very against people who get drunk. She especially hates it in women. I have tried to probe why, but she says that it's just something that she finds disgusting. There is no instance of alcoholism in my family as far as I know.
My problem is what to do when I am staying with them and offered a drink. Obviously, I am not going to take a drink, but I will have to try to think of a reason for not drinking. I am not well at the moment and I could say that I am taking medication and I can't drink, but my mother used to work in the medical field and will only want to know what I am taking and why. My course of antibiotics will be over by then and I don't know what I can say.
I really don't want to lie to my parents, but I don't want to drop a major bombshell on them either. In short, I'm stuck!
If anyone can offer any comments that would be really great.
Take care and have a super and sober day,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
If you are not ready to open up, then you are not ready.
I cherish the anonymity of this Program SO much, if EVER asked on even Proded with, have a drink, I will say yes, thank you, I'll have a water.
And if PUSHED at a dinner table to have a glass of wine, No, Thank You, does Work.
What always works for me Carol, is the theory of other people opinions of me, are really none of my business.
I made the big mistake of once, when a somewhat new friend came into my house on a really, hot day, with a tall glass of Vodka and orange juice, and really starting pushing with the "have a drink with me, please" BS. And instead of saying just No Thank you, or I am not in the mood, I revealed that I no longer drank, had not had a drink in 16 years, and had had my quota, many years ago, in a sort of light hearted way, thinking, "well she is my friend, need to get this topic up and out of the way". Well guess what, the friendship was over, for her, never wanted to socialize with me again. My attitude, in spite of the fact that I felt certain she was maybe blabbing this to a circle of people that I knew, my take on the whole thing was, "Oh, Well", one of those moments that really spared me a lot of wasteing my time with a person that was not going to be one of those "on my side" people anyway.
Putting my own Sobriety in front of EVERYTHING, EVERYONE, moments, just made me feel grateful that I still use that formula, at all times.
So after digressing here, my simple answer today, is just a simply No, Thank You, or Yes, I'll have a glass of water, or a soda.
To anyone that holds to a philosophy, of it being a Moral degenerate thing, we cannot change their thinking, it is not on our side of the street, right.
I have always used the "doing a water cleanse thing" for those people that need to pry into the Why?
I always say "no thanks, I've got my soda". That's easy, cuz I always have a can or glass in my hand. If they persist? I am so up front about it, and I have such a twisted sense of humor anyway, I say " Got alot of gas in your car? Cuz if I have a drink, I'll be waking up in another state, and you're the one I'm gonna call to come get me". It works every single time. So much easier than fussing with someone about it. If all else fails, just tell them that you've learned that drinking makes you throw up. Everywhere. Hugs, Wren
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i found god in myself/and I loved her/i loved her fiercely--Ntozake Shange
Thanks for that. Yup, I had forgotten to keep it simple. But, we all know what parents can be like!
Yes, I will be pushed, but I will now know what to say. I guess that the most honest and simple answer is to say that I have an allergy and alcohol makes me sick. Anyway, I'll let you all know what happens.
Take care,
Carol
__________________
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
