I heard a good lead tonight, but one of the commentors said, that we choose to be depressed. Is that really true? Can we have that much effect on our moods? I mean, we're powerless over alcohol, but do we have power to control how we feel? Just wondering...
Look at the source, as far as that comment went....
Some people are clinically depressed... so no, they don't have a choice.
Some people are depressed when coming off alcohol and the alcoholic lifestyle, because A) alcohol is a depressant, and B) an alcoholic lifestyle is depressing. Don't really have a choice when our bodies/lives are adjusting, either (Sobriety, Steps and TIME can help...)
Also, life itself can be depressing at times, alcoholic or not, sober or not.... and we cannot be happy all the time.
Sure there are things we can do to make it better/worse sometimes...
Depression has so many faces.
The thing for me, is yes, I have moments and times of depression. But I also have a whole lot of moments of peace and joy now. I can sometimeschoose to sit in a depressive state. I can sometimeschoose to stop sitting in my sh*tpile and just be ok in spite of myself!! But not every time. We just do what is suggested (By doc, therapist, sponsor, BBook... people with GOOD recovery...) we share, we pray, we wait it out, sometimes. THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Some people even manage to get closer to their HP in those times.
There is no "All or Nothing" rule with depression, like most things.
Sobriety means feeling life, and all it's ups and downs... sometimes you gotta have the down's to really fully appreciate the up's.
Clinically depressed folks definitely do not have a choice... but there are good doctors and therapists out there who can at least help. The folks I know who are clinically depressed or bipolar do a heck of a lot better with their treatments/therapy/medications... when they are sober.
That's what I think I figured out too. Of course clinical depression is a disease or syndrome, or whatever, like alcoholism is. Same with my anxiety disorders. I can't easily change my thought patterns, once I'm in 'panic mode." Same with depression. But it's more than just feeling down in the dumps. A lot of times, I feel hopeless, helpless, and so friggin' tired I could sleep around the clock.
My conscious mind realizes it's because I'm "coming off the sauce." However, I can't help but think things, such as, "There's something wrong with me. I'm just being a bitch. Snap out of it! Nobody likes to be around negative people." So I put on the mask, so no one sees my hurt and self-loathing.
But tonight, I did have about and hour or so where I felt really good. No idea why. I just felt lighter. But then after being at home a couple of hours, I was back in depression mode. Blah. This just sucks.
Ummmmmmm. Depression. Hmmmmmm. Struggled with it my whole life. I guess when it hits I have control over how bad I let it get. I have no control over being depressed. I can do things to keep it from getting really bad. I try not to isolate so much when this happens and I get to meetings daily to keep me from delving deeper into that depression. Oh yeah, and a wonderful thing called Paxil helps immensely! If I didn't take my meds there is no doubt in my mind that I would be out there drinking and using. No doubt at all. Been there, done that. One of those things I really don't wanna try again!
One thing I've learned in A.A. is that if you suffer from depression or any other mood disorder, the thing is not to take advice from people in the program concerning that. Unless they are a doctor they're suggestions are not valid, no matter how well intentioned they are. That's what the M.D. gets paid for!
Was it at a meeting that you felt better??? right before, during, and after???.....
It's no small wonder why we get 'addicted' to meetings when we start committing to them.
The depression surrounding coming off alcohol... is HORRIBLE... for some people, the worst depression they ever experience is in withdrawal. There is an idea floating around out there, too, that the withdrawal is ONLY 5 or 6 days.... This is not true. People's emotions can be whacked out... and they can be depressed for a long time after. But picking up a drink just catapults them back to square 1, literally. People 'withdraw' from how their own body chemistry has changed in order to accommodate overdoses of poison from their drinking. It takes TIME for the body to regulate, and withdrawal to subside.
A lot of my very-early recovery depression(s) just simply came from guilt, shame, remorse, fear, anxiety, bad experiences from childhood and adulthood that had not been dealt with spritually, not having gotten any real 'rest' for years on end, not having any friends for years on end, having soured relationships... and on and on, ad infinitum. I did need medication as well. I took it. And I was also told that medication by itself was not going to solve the real problem. A psychiatrist at St. Thomas Hospital in Akron (Dr. Bob's old hospital) told me that I needed jnot only to put the plug in the jug, but to stay in AA and get counselling too, if I was going to be on meds. I did all of these andf it has gotten better.
There is no doubt that ALL people are depressed when getting off alcohol and drugs... it is a symptom of withdrawal. justin is right, though, clinical depression needs a doctor, and usually it is suggested by the doctor that therapy go along with it. I believe all doctors agree, though, that drinking and using drugs does NOT help the situation... only makes it tougher, if not impossible, to treat.
Just my ES&H.
Love,
Jonibaloni
Things do get better.... and it seems a lot faster than ought to have, in retrospect...LOL
Yes, I did feel better before, during, and after the meeting. And my husband took me for a short spin on our new-to-us motorcycle. It felt soooooo good!
I know I need to put as much effort in sobriety as I did drinking. That sunk in for me tonight. The message moved from my head to my heart. Yea!
Anyway, I would love to see a counselor again. I'm hoping and praying with our new insurance, the copay will be cheaper. $30 a session is too much. And no, I never spent $30 at one time drinking. I was a cheap drunk. Ha haha! $10 is more reasonable, which is what I'm hoping for. We'll find out soon. Sometimes I wish I lived in Canada.
Anyway, I'm on Paxil, which helps so much with anxiety, but does nothing for my depression. So I might have to switch to another med. I don't know yet. After August 1st, when we get our new insurance, I'm making an appt. with the doctor. Looking forward to it.
I just saw a counselor for the first time in over a decade. She told me to come back. Not sure how it's going to turn out but if it benefits me in any way the money really isn't an issue to me. My second appointment is tomorrow. It's only $20 a session so I'm gonna go ever week or maybe every other week. My primary reason for going wasn't really to see a therapist but that's the way it turned out. Kinda strange how things happen!
do you have to go for your license-thingy, Justin?
That's how I first started going... for the courts. Ugh.
But after the first session, I dove right into it.
I ended up continuing with a therapist for the next 4 years after the court thingy was over. I was REAL sick!!! (still am....)
It was all just another blessing.... I had got in trouble with the law ... and it worked out for the better for me, because it forced me to get thngs like counselling, 90 in 90, etc... going in my life. I feel real lucky that I had all that 'forced recovery'... I was too stubborn!!
Very interesting thread, folks. Sorry I came in late on it. I know the depression thing myself. Don't think I could add much to what you have all said. Just like with alcoholism, I have to stay aware of my feelings, and be prepared to deal with it when it come slinking around.
I'm bipolar, and a lot of times I don't have control over my mood swings, but sometimes I can control it, I can cause myself to go into depressive mode, I have things I can do that sometimes trigger mania, like loud rap or speed metal. I don't know why I force myself into depression sometimes... I guess to get back to "normal" for me since I've been depressed most of my life. But once I get depressed, there's next to nothing that will get me out of it besides med adjustments and counseling appointments and just waiting it out. I can control how bad I let it get sometimes, sometimes I can't. I think everyone has control over their moods to some extent, if you're depressed you can do things to try to make yourself feel better, tell yourself you're going to try to be in a good mood today, etc and if you work at it you can keep yourself from going too far down - usually.
Well Depression is an Illness, that is described in the DSM IV, that a book on Mental Illness.
So you would have to ask the speaker, I would, what depression was he referring too.
Depression has a full spectum to it, from just feeling sorry for ourselves to a Clinical depression, that requires Treatment, with Medication, and there are the more serious kinds of Depression that require Hospitalization.
If I was at a Meeting and someone made such a comment on the subject, personally I would not have given it any thought at all, it would have gone in the garbage can on the way out the door. Take what you want and leave the rest, that comment would have been something I just would have ignored, because if I thought about it, I would only be annoyed.
Once, a woman that was being honored in a talk on her 10th Birthday, made a similiar kind of statement, she said she had been happy every single day of her Recovery. Just ignored and threw out the comment, rather than thinking, "Wonder what drug she is on"? See i didn't go there.
