It sounds crazy but sometimes I think that the only way I'm ever going to stop all the pain I'm causing other people is by not being here anymore. I've seriously considered taking a long walk at low tide with some muscle relaxants and a 26 ounce bottle of Grey Goose and letting nature do it's work.
PLEASE don't follow those suicidal thoughts until you have at least sobered up for a few 24 hours.... 99.9% chance you will absolutely NOT feel the same way in a couple of days of not drinking.... alcohol is a major depressant, as you know...
What to do?
I needed to SURRENDER, Tipsy,
Just for 24 hours.... in that 24 hours, I needed to do WHATEVER it took to not pick up a drink... including calling another AA and saying" hang with me tonight; help me not to drink, no matter what!"
Go to a meeting, too.
All I had to do was do anything it took... just for 24 hours, no more than that.
Then I woke up the next day and did the exact same thing... JUST for 24 hours...
Pretty soon, it got waaaaayyy easier to stay sober for 24 hours. I now have a string of 540 of those 24 hour increments, and believe me, life is 1,000,000,000 X Better. Actually, it started to get better way before that... I'd say even a week or so, it gets easier, at least for this alcoholic.
We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, know thousands of men and women who were once just as hopeless as Bill. Nearly all have recovered. They have solved the drink problem.
-- Edited by Doll at 13:07, 2006-07-18
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Thank you, I appreciate your concern but I'm okay...I was just trying to express how sick and desperate I feel after a drunk. I haven't thought about suicide for a long long time but it's always buried back there somewhere in my mind. Like if things ever get too bad I have the answer.
I know it's not a real answer...and I have too much to live for these days.
