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Phil


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Insisting On The Best...
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The Language of Letting Go.


We deserve the best life and love has to offer, but we are each faced with the challenge of learning to identify what that means in our life. We must each come to grips with our own understanding of what we believe we deserve, what we want, and whether we are receiving it.


There is only one place to start, and that is right where we are, in our current circumstances. The place we begin is with us.


What hurts? What makes us angry? What are we whining and complaining about? Are we discounting how much a particular behavior is hurting us? Are we making excuses for the other person, telling ourselves we're "too demanding"?


Are we reluctant, for a variety of reasons, especially fear, to tackle the issues in our relationships that may be hurting us? Do we know what's hurting us and do we know that we have a right to stop our pain, if we want to do that?


We can begin the journey from deprived to deserving. We can start it today. We can also be patient and gentle with ourselves as we travel in important increments from believing we deserve second best, to knowing in our hearts that we deserve the best, and taking responsibility for that.


Today, I will pay attention to how I allow people to treat me, and how I feel about that. I will also watch how I treat others. I will not overreact by taking their issues too personally and too seriously; I will not under react by denying that certain behaviors are inappropriate and not acceptable to me.


"Have A Nice Day"

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"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
Doll


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Thanks, phil. I always need this reminder!



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jonibaloni


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Lordy, that book probably had a HUGE hand in saving my life, Phil.... think I gave it away to a former sponsee...


Must get it again. I cannot think of a better supplement to recovery materials!! Helped me to realize it's OK to take care of me... in right ways.... I'm the only 'me' I have to spend this lifetime with!!


Bless you, Phillipe'....


Jonibaloni



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Toni Baloney


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Good Morning Phil,

Thanks for this Post. just had to Lovingly Detach COMPLETELY to someone that I thought I could help, but ended up worsening her down-troddened life. Kind of enabling it, thought about it and just decided that my intentions were good, however misguided and wrong.

Can step back and look at any relationship, and make a mental note of do the positives outweigh the negatives, and if the negatives are more pronouced that the positive, get those figurative sissors out, and cut the cord, of my own misunderstanding. Give the whole shabang up to Him. Let it go in my thinking.

This Post reaffirmed a recent action on my part, and I greatly appreciated it.

Have a great Sunday in Canaduh.

baloney



-- Edited by Toni Baloney at 10:19, 2006-07-16

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Phil


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morning..morning..morning..


Yup..thats a good book...


I used to become so enmeshed in other peoples stuff...it was mind boggling..


"The favorite line was likely.."Carry your baggage Mam?" "Marry me Mam?" "Live happily ever after Mam?" good f'in luck eh...


Jeeze...had enough of my own baggage...


Then again...carrying someone elses baggage...kept me from looking at my own...doh!!


Now I just throw them a few wrenches...and say "Here..you fix it"  :) I'le hold your hand...


Onward and Upward!!


 


 


 



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"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
Toni Baloney


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Hi Phil,

Well for me, I let go of their hand, and say, call me when you get it Fixed. Tools, they gotta go get their own.

CODA, CODA, CODA, CODA.

Ha ha, Was talking to this man that just celebrated his 9th Birthday, and asked him what exactly he meant, he was always referring to himself as a "Black Belt Alanon"
He said, oh that, I just say that, so it will help me more in detaching with love, or sometimes just detaching. Food for thought, eh????

Toni



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Phil


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"Call me when you get it fixed?"


That would explain, why my phone is VERY QUIET....hahaha



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"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
Toni Baloney


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Hi Again Philly,

yep, there are those really NEEDY people, and then there are those that NEED them, starts out with a healthy feeling of compassion, and then it turns into something so different, our little brains play tricks on us, right?

Yicks, want out of the whole Coda thingy, it is a little more lonely, bu oh so much more peaceful. Was looking at my part in something, and just got kinda sick to my stomach.

Yep, again, like bringing into focus my own pile of doggy doo, on my side of the street.

Help, Help, Help, Dear God, Help!

Lessons are so hard to learn, but I hope I learned this one, GOOD.
It has to being with two Independent people, and as they get to know each other, as time goes by, then there is a built in inter-dependancy that s l o w l y developes.
Wow, did I forget that one. Guess the lesson was not fully learned, or I would not have had to do it yet another time.

Baloney

ok. Just finished sweeping up, now, just say some Prays to my Higher Power, that I will be more AWARE of this in the future, but do have to keep my eyes open.

-- Edited by Toni Baloney at 16:32, 2006-07-16

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