The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.

The almost certain consequences that follow taking even a glass of beer do not crowd into the mind to deter us. If these thoughts occur, they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people. There is a complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove.

The alcoholic may say to himself in the most casual way, "It won't burn me this time, so here's how!" Or perhaps he doesn't think at all. How often have some of us begun to drink in this nonchalant way, and after the third or fourth, pounded on the bar and said to ourselves, "For God's sake, how did I ever get started again?" Only to have that thought supplanted by "Well, I'll stop with the sixth drink." Or "What's the use anyhow?"

When this sort of thinking is fully established in an individual with alcoholic tendencies, he has probably placed himself beyond human aid, and unless locked up, may die or to permanently insane. These stark and ugly facts have been confirmed by legions of alcohoholics throughout history. But for the grace of God, there would have been thousands more convincing demonstrations. So many want to stop but cannot.

There is a solution. Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at out feet. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.

From There Is A Solution--Alcoholics Anonymous

Hi Jen,

When I read your post this section of the book came immediately to mind. Hope this helps!

Have a great sober weekend!

I Know this feeling. I remember how I felt after a month and a half. Foggy. The thinking is still vivid. The changes havent really taken place yet. Yes, we've stopped drinking. Maybe we have changed our friends or hang-outs. We have stopped shopping in our "favorite" places to avoid the temptation. Maybe we have stopped shutting ourselves in our homes alittle less. We have followed directions...got a sponser...go to meetings...read the big book....pray....service work yadayadayada...But it still kicks us in the head unexpectedly. Or when we are most vulnerable, tired, hungry, stressed.  I only have alittle more than a year, but afew things have evolved. The changes I have made within myself have affected the external changes I had to make initionally. They have become a part of my thinking. Which has made less room for my need for alcohol. Oh, it hits me hard at times and I suppose it always will. But now I think, the first step, I finally understand.  It took more than a year. I guess it will always piss me off that I can't drink with my friends normally. But when that happens.....I eat chocolate!!!!