And i feel so scared.. .. i just got two txts from very close friends.. giving me encouragement.. im now crying....
omg.. how can i be this drunk at almost 4am..
tears streaming down my face..
im realy scared.....
i dont want to have to be so drunk to improve.. to talk etc...
i better be sober enough to work i cant have any more time off.. holly tish im scared now of TH AT.. i cant phone in sick AGAIN.... but i will be gettin up in like 3 hours. right now im kinda kcfud! I cant bleve iv woken up to feeling this drunk..
Dear One, what is the remedy to that fear? I have faith in you, I really do, now try having some of that faith in yourself, ok? Everything is always on time and on schedule, and I believe that with my whole heart. An ex-priest friend of mine, in AA, used to say that and say that, and man, it took me years to finally have the light bulb go off.
Drink alot of water and flush your system out as quick as possbile, also. If you're still drunk before work, for heavens sake, take a bus. The more water you drink, the more you'll flush your system. Gatoraid might not hurt either, replace some electolytes....A big hug, Wren
__________________
i found god in myself/and I loved her/i loved her fiercely--Ntozake Shange
All I can say is that brought up so many memories, of waking up and wondering if I was sober enough to get to work, remember all of those days, with the accompanying feeling of feeling SO SO Scared.
Hope that you made it to work, I am hoping that those meetings you are now going to, will do what is referred to around here, as "Screwing up you Drinking", "A belly full of Alcohol, and a head full of A.A." is a pretty miserable place. I hope that thought process has already done that for you.
When we attempt to get sober in Meetings, my feeling is the Raging Disease of Alcholism will rear it very ugly head, and start doing battle. The Disease in me did not like being "put to sleep" remember that well. But the Program was more powerful than that Monster Disease of Alcoholism. That is why today, I refer to it a my Sleeping Gorilla Monster. No humor in that, just the contrary.
I really do feel for you. How many times have I awoken in a sweaty panic at 4am, unable to go back to sleep, knowing I have to get up and face the world in a couple of hours?
I know you are not a fan of the religious angle, and neither am I. But I'm going to say a prayer for you, and if you would say one for me, I'd really appreciate it! My life is in a real mess right now. I'm leading my ex-husband up the garden path, cos I'm too scared to reject him openly: my 'destructive' boyfriend (as I think of him) has rejected me and I'm upset about it, stupidly.
Other people on this site might kick my ass for saying this, but if you are in full-on crisis mode, and really anxious and strung out, maybe it's time to: a.go to a meeting
BUT
b. also go see a doctor. In the short term, if you are having withdrawal issues etc, there are medications that can help, and if you are honest with your doctor s/he will help out. You are a young guy and you shouldn't have to live like this. A warning, though: if you do get meds to help with your withdrawals that enable you to stay straight for at least a few days (and the meds in question would probably be Valium or something similiar) be aware that if you're on this kind of drug for longer than about 4 weeks, you will become physically dependent.
Anti-depressants can help too. Certainly, the anti-depressant I have started on recently (Evanza) has really lowered my anxiety levels and helped me sleep better. There is a place, I think, for drug therapy in the treatment of chronic alcoholism.
But at the end of the day, I've never known anyone to get on top of the booze without AA. Just go even if you don't feel like it. Even if you are still drinking (the only requirement for membership, remember, is 'DESIRE to stop drinking') Just go, go, go! Even if you hate the religious aspect, even if you don't want to 'share'. Even if you feel embarrassed and shitty (I know I often did). Just rock up anyway.
Just my take on any detox drugs, Valium is Powered Alcohol, dont let anyone give you that. o.k. A woman at a Recovery Hospital did a Lecture on the Subject.
Rob: I really do feel for you. How many times have I awoken in a sweaty panic at 4am, unable to go back to sleep, knowing I have to get up and face the world in a couple of hours? I know you are not a fan of the religious angle, and neither am I. But I'm going to say a prayer for you, and if you would say one for me, I'd really appreciate it! My life is in a real mess right now. I'm leading my ex-husband up the garden path, cos I'm too scared to reject him openly: my 'destructive' boyfriend (as I think of him) has rejected me and I'm upset about it, stupidly. Other people on this site might kick my ass for saying this, but if you are in full-on crisis mode, and really anxious and strung out, maybe it's time to:a.go to a meeting BUT b. also go see a doctor. In the short term, if you are having withdrawal issues etc, there are medications that can help, and if you are honest with your doctor s/he will help out. You are a young guy and you shouldn't have to live like this. A warning, though: if you do get meds to help with your withdrawals that enable you to stay straight for at least a few days (and the meds in question would probably be Valium or something similiar) be aware that if you're on this kind of drug for longer than about 4 weeks, you will become physically dependent. Anti-depressants can help too. Certainly, the anti-depressant I have started on recently (Evanza) has really lowered my anxiety levels and helped me sleep better. There is a place, I think, for drug therapy in the treatment of chronic alcoholism. But at the end of the day, I've never known anyone to get on top of the booze without AA. Just go even if you don't feel like it. Even if you are still drinking (the only requirement for membership, remember, is 'DESIRE to stop drinking') Just go, go, go! Even if you hate the religious aspect, even if you don't want to 'share'. Even if you feel embarrassed and shitty (I know I often did). Just rock up anyway. Bless you, take care Sycorax
Well i will metaphoricaly pray for you ok.. And thanx..
Thanx everyonelse too. I did go to work today, buses are a joke around her and there wasnt enough time so yeah i did drive... which was abit of a nightmare.
It wasnt a long feeling of being so scared, it was just that moment this morning i think. Well i mean obviously i am still scared but this morning it was alittle more intense, ya know.
