of no consuming of booze, blood pressure's back to normal, the sleeplessness has changed to relatively good sleep.
I've been here before. Drinking a pint a night for a long, long time until I do something stupid than think: Oh, my God! I have to quit. I'm an alcoholic and I'm killing myself.
Do the three day at home detox and 'get my vital signs' back to normal.
Stay clean for awhile (fiive days to two months) 'til I get that old wanna party 'cuz I'm a rebel and I don't give a s__t feeling. That occurs usually after I've made a helluva lot of money in one work week.
Start with beer (6 to 12) every night. A few months go by and you get sick of beer because it bloats you, makes you fat and tired. Bourbon is much better with ice and caffeine free diet coke. You can be full of food and still do the bourbon/ice/coke thing. Hit that easy for awhile (8 to 12) per evening with a two day break every week or two just to prove 'you can quit' anytime.
Six months and you're back to the pint or so every single night. That goes on for a year or three. Do/say something stupid and it's another trip around the desert......
What's the point you ask?
The point is I've done this cycle sooooo many times that I finally recognize it. And the three day detox's carry more severe dt like behavior than the previous. Also, the kids are not babies anymore and they see things, too. My wife, well, I keep her out of it. My behavior is not mean and I can hold 'it' well.
I think I'm ready to come out of the desert and head for greener pastures. I'm not 40 yet (hence the 40 years in the desert in the OT) but I'm close.
Congrats on four days! Well done. There was a time for me, not that long ago, that four days without a drink seemed an impossible achievement.
I could so identify with the cycle and wanting to have a new cycle. I would stop drinking and then start again. But, I remember how the withdrawal symptoms got worse and worse each time I was detoxing.
In the end I just got sick of being permanently drunk or badly hung-over. It's strange to look back now and remember how I used to think that drinking two/three bottles of wine each and every day was normal behaviour!
I needed a new cycle and I have a better life now, too. I too was also approaching 40 when I first went to AA. There something about these wretched birthdays that have an 0 at the end, isn't there?
Congrats, again, on four days. Keep doing what you're doing.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
