Yeah, I do think too much. Sometimes I become unaware of that fact. The only time I feel completely sane is when I'm at an A.A. meeting. I become totally focused and pay complete attention to almost everything that is said. I notice I really hone in on what the people with quality sobriety have to say.
One other thing I forget is at times I have a problem with my thinker which requires medications prescribed by a doctor. When the thinking gets funny I don't always notice it. Sometimes it's like riding a wave. Enjoy it while it lasts and when it crashes......ummmm. well time to get some sleep. It seem like I feel pretty good all day and when night comes it's like my body is still accustomed to the partying life style. Brain activity accelerates, get lot's of energy, talk before thinking..........that's scary for me!!! Don't really know what I'm trying to say here. I think I'm nuts. Loony toons.
Right now I'm listening to some of my meditation music. It's great. Makes me feel at one with the...........what the heck..........I'm listening to some Rage Against The Machine.........not reallly meditation music.
I should rename this the "insanity post"
Just thought I'd share what goes on inside my 'broken thinker' with ya!
At a certain time each evening/late afternoon, our bodies release seratonin, preparing us for slowing down, resting and then an extra jolt for sleeping. That and melatonin. When our bodies are still a little unsettled, and we're releasing all these weird chemicals at the wrong time of day, our bodies and minds act accordingly. Our brain chemistry is a very delicate balance, so it takes awhile for things to return to the norm. I'm still my most active either in the very very early hours or late at night. I do have medication for it, but rather let my own body work itself down. Easy now that I no longer work and can sleep in. When I was still working, and had to get up at four, it was a different story. I go weeks of needing 4-5 hurs sleep and then weeks of 8-10. So you ain't crazy, your body is. Now go listen to something that makes you happy. And enjoy our nice loooong weekend. Love Wren
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i found god in myself/and I loved her/i loved her fiercely--Ntozake Shange
Yup, I have a thinking problem, too. It's called my brain!!! Maybe, I'll start to affectionately call it Brian instead and see if it behaves better!
I have just spent the evening with my sponsor and she seriously reckons that I think too much. But, I get moments when I can't switch off. If only brains came with on/off switches. Life would be more simple then.
But, the great thing, for me, is that although my thinking might still be wacky, at least I can't blame it on alcohol any more! I'm gonna start to blame it on my age from now on!
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Was listening to this man, in Friday's meeting, and he had so much time in this program of ours, and such a great share, about this is a lifetime process, not an event.
I will always have an Alcoholic mind, I will never really be the same as a person that is not of the Alke Variety. Kind of comforting to know I can relax and know that will always be the way it is. And because of that fact (the alcoholic mind), I have to really take an extra look at that when making just the usual decisions. If it is about a big decision in my life, I will have to do a lot of "Your Will, not Mine be done", before I can feel comfortable in making an important decision. My own self will, will always be a bit of an enemy, the "isms" right there in my own mind.
Makes me understand that I must always be a Student in this 12 Step Program, as an example, if I have a problem, and if I am willing to contemplate each Step of this Program, the solution to that Problem can be found in one of those Steps.
We actually get to have at our disposal, something like a life-time Manual on "Operating Instructions"
I don't take Meds, for my thinking, (there is not a pill available to help my thinker), but I do have an Rx is for using the Program and the meetings, the personal contacts, working with new people, all of it combined.
Just like Phil says once in a while, "My thinking is broken, cannot be repaired in this lifetime."
Continued Sobriety is a wonderful Gift, and I never take that for Granted.
When the Fog of Alcoholism, was lifted, it was crysal clear to me, I HAVE A THINKING DISORDER, and that is the part I need to remember, and never forget.
Alignment with His Will, as in "I can't, He Can, and I LET HIM" The only Medicine that works.
So my friend, I would say "a problem with my thinker" as you described, just to me means...... YEP...you sure is ONE OF US. We are not alone Justin, that's the good news.
A very Humble, Grateful Alcoholic today,
Your Friend, Toni...............still with a broken thinker.
And sometimes my best meditation music is... ABBA ......FULL BLAST...I can seek His Will from a very up mood, as well as I can in Quiet and Somber Silence. My feeling is a Higher Power that I choose to call God, can hear us in our Tears, as well as some happy up Place. If we are seeking to Align our Will to His, however we do it. That is all that matters, my take anyway.
Why do you think I use the name Baloney Brains, anyway? haha
I also think too much. I over-analyze everything, instead of just being still and accepting whatever the problem is. I spend way too much time in my own head, listening to the committee. Especially at night. Nighttime has always been "thinking time" for me, long before I ever reached alcoholic status. No wonder I've had sleep issues so long.
Maybe it's time to bust out the Beatles song, "Let it Be."
I need to develop a habit of praying myself to sleep. Leaving my burdens at God's feet will certainly give me more peace and calm that racing mind. Anyway, it's almost 4 am and falling asleep sober is a new thing for me! I will enjoy waking without a hangover. Nighty-night!
I can't wait to hear you tell us... "guess what guys, I fell asleep at 10 and got up at noon!!!" Twill be a glorious moment for me, I know.... any day now!!!
