When I came to AA, it was the last resort for me. I did not show up because everything was "Fine, thankyou..", and I was just curious. I came because I had tried literally EVERYTHING else, and to no avail. What I knew about AA was nil, and that sacred me.
In my 'fear of the unknown' regarding AA, I challenged what people were doing to stay sober. I couldn't 'figure out' how the program could possibly help a person to strop drinking. Since my "all-knowing mind" (LOL) couldn't figure it out, I wasn't going to try it. I masked fear with self-righteousness. I wasn't, at that point, teachable.
Then alcohol reared its ugly head again. I drank some more to near-death, and in my defeat, became willing and teachable. I believed in something... it was what I was seeing in the members of AA who were staying sober and getting their lives back. I became willing to do anything that was suggetsed of me from the Big Book of Alcoholic's Anonymous. And it has worked... without me having to figure it all out.
