Hi All! I just signed up for this and am looking forward to supporting anyone who needs it. God knows I do. So hi and howdy and hello.
So I am going to type out some frustration because at 12:00 am there are no meetings in the area and I looked online to see if there was a possible chat room that I could go off in but I couldn't find one so here it is.
I just joined AA last night. After a 3 day drinking binge - I thought I had a problem. After attending the meeting, I knew I did. I announced "I am an Alcoholic in the meeting, started crying, and everyone in the meeting was so warm and loving - I knew that this was the place to be for help with my problem.
I called my mom afterwards and just bawled. I told her what a bad daughter I thought I was.
Scenario 1: She will call me 5 days straight and sometimes I will call her back when I am drunk. In the morning I don't remember even talking to her. I told her this.
Scenario 2: Since I was about 22 I have been a moderate to heavy drinker. Sometimes less, sometimes more but have gotten really bad in the past year and 1/2. My mom has always thought I drank too much. She would always ask me how many I had. My 8 beers or drinks were always 2 ot her.
Telling her these things was one of the hardest things I think I have done.
I went to a meeting today - they are great. Before, I thought I was a freak. I thought no one in the world did what I did - medicated by drinking. And feeling bad about drinking and then drinking some more to feel good about it. This was one of the biggest reasons I thought I had such a problem. I knew there were alcoholics in the world. I didn't want to be one but I am.
I went out with some friends tonight who I usually drink with. Not all of them are drinkers. Actually only two of them are. The others are usually sober. Maybe an occasional cocktail but they don't have problems. I was the biggest drinker of the bunch. My problem - I didn't have any fun. I am usually very social and very outgoing, even without alcohol. Tonight I just sat there and said practically nothing, wondering what was wrong with me. I feel I have no personality whatsoever and am not interesting unless I am drinking. Does or did anyone else feel this way? These friends are good friends but they don't really know me sober. And now that I am sober (2nd day), can I still keep them? I don't know, I just need to vent some frustration, more with myself than with anything else. I don't know if I like me sober. Drinking has taken a huge toll of my life. Debt, embarrassment, loss of friends, boyfriends, doing stupid things, lies, slight health problems, etc, so I know I have to stop. Does or did anyone else have these issues? It was so tempting to go out to a bar after we were done, but I thought this would be healthier. Anyway, thanks for reading all and if anyone has any advice, please let me know.
Welcome to the MIP Board. It's a great place to be. I discovered it yesterday and I have already 'met' so many wonderful folk here.
Well done on joining AA. I so clearly remember when I joined for the first time. I didn't know what to expect, what happens and so on. But, I know have some very good friends in AA who would do anything to help me if they could. And, I would move heaven and earth to help them.
After I had attended my first meeting I felt so much better for having gone. The feeling of relief was massive. I no longer felt alone with my 'evil' addiction. I couldn't believe that most of the folk there were alcoholics. They seemed too 'normal'! They seemed to be nice, happy people!
I still haven't told my Mum that I go to AA, although she must have spotted that I no longer 'phone her late at night slurring my words and so on! Well done on telling your Mum. I can so easily understand that it must have been very hard telling her. But, you have done the best thing for you and your recovery. I wish that I had had your guts!
Kelly, when I first stopped drinking I felt that I could never be me again. I felt that I would never enjoy myself, be happy or even laugh ever again. I had to rediscover the real me. I had been drinking myself senseless for years and expected to be 'fixed' overnight. Without alcohol in me I just didn't know who I was. I had to learn what life was like all over again.
And, it's great. I still have a good social life, although when I first stopped drinking I tried to keep away from parties, pubs and so on for a while until I felt stronger. Some of my friends know that I go to AA, others don't. But, I still have great friendships with some of my old drinking friends. They are used to the fact that I don't drink. It doesn't take long for folk to adjust to that.
Keep going to AA. It really does work. Right now, you are going through a change. It doesn't take long and it is so worth it. My sobriety is the most important thing in my life right now.
I hope you have a super and a SOBER day. (SOBER = Son Of a Bitch, Everything's Real)
With very best wishes,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Hi I just wanted to welcome you. I do not really have any great advice,but we all have been in your shoes. I personally do not go any place with alcohol nor hang out with friends who drink, only that I might be tempted that's all. (((((((((((Huggys))))))))))
Welcome to AA...just have a few minutes before work, but wanted to tell you that I have been exactly where you are...not long after getting sober, i went to a function with old friends from work...felt out of place and like something was not quite right...very uncomfortable and unnerving...today things are not like that...by working the steps w/ a sponsor, i came to realize that by abusing alcohol for so many years, i had really lost my identity...i have since rediscovered "who i am", and i no longer feel that discomfort regardless of my situation...before AA i had been able to have periods of not drinking, but i was never happy during those times...that's because i could figure out how to stop drinking, but i had no clue how to live sober...AA has taught me that, and i am now happier than i can ever remember...hang in there, it will get better...one suggestion- if you don't have a sponsor, get one immediately...ask someone who has what you want, if you listen in the meetings, you will be able to tell who that is...for me, just as i didn't have a clue how to live happily sober, i didn't have a clue how to get there either...good luck- i'll keep you in my prayers
One of the major things that I have learned is that we are not just living life without alcohol - we are living life sober and I do believe there is a difference. In time you will discover the difference. You will also discover who your true and honest friends are - some are and some are not, you will make new friends and keep some of the old ones - I know I did. Just my share at this moment in time.
Later - Jeannie
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You only live once; but if you work it right, once is enough. There is nothing better than the encouragement of a good friend.
When I first came in, I had to force myself to give the AA folks a try, you know, say "yes" when asked out for coffee (mostly just with women, at first... long story...) or out to a meeting with another woman or a group of women.
Anyway, I had to explain to my closest 'friends' what I had to do for me. Some understood and were very supportive, some were not. Those who were not, I found, did not want my friendship, so much as just someone to drink with.
I was told 'sober people in sober places' at first, and I have never found that to be wrong, especially for the newcomer.
Being an alcoholic is not something to be ashamed of. I found that everyone else pretty much knew I was before I even did... LOL
What we have is a disease of the mind and body. You are in the right place. AA is the best known 'treatment' for alcoholism and its resulting social and personal problems.
