Do you have control issues? Personality control is the biggest issue everyone must face in the spiritual journey. Because this is not understood nor often enough addressed, the spiritual journey for many is a disguised ego trip.
We think we can control everything we experience – with but one exception: death. Behind all our fears is the fear of losing control, and behind that is the fear of death. In fact, loss of ego control is equated with death in the personality. To overcome fear and stop the controlling behaviors, one must face death with equanimity.
The sad part of ego-centered control is that we usually don’t recognize to what extent we are controlling. Other people around us certainly know it! It frequently takes a big confrontation or crisis to find it out for ourselves… unless we are willing to very honestly examine our fears, feelings and behaviors. We all have control issues!
Central to the spiritual journey is the willingness and practice of letting go of ego’s control and submitting to Universal Presence. You might agree with this, and say that you won’t mind submitting to Universal Presence – i.e., the divine, but there is no way you will submit to, or trust in, the people around you. If that is the case, where and how do you think that the divine presence makes itself seen and felt other than through the people and circumstances in your life?
When we agree to “not my will, but Thine be done” we are acknowledging that ‘Thy will’ manifests through the needs (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual) of the people in our lives. If we want to know ‘Thy will’ we had better listen to others – to what they want and need, what they feel and aspire to.
The Spiritual Journey is a process of transformation – which is exactly what death is, and what relationships are all about.
In our yang dominated culture, control is king – “control your destiny,” “get what you want,” “achieve your goals.” A lot of self help books, workshops and teachings use this yang approach to life. The techniques and goals of these approaches help strengthen a weak ego, but they do not transform the personality or one’s life. And they are not part of the Spiritual Journey because they are ego-based and self-centered.
Transformation of personality demands that the personality have a yin state and attitude. This is a receptive state based on trust, true belief and an open heart.
The main area the ego wants to control is our psyche – the inner space where thought, feeling, choice and reaction occur. When we fail to achieve this inner control, we project it outwards and we try to control others. There is the unconscious thought that if only we could completely control our psyche, then not only would everything be as we want it, but we would be immortal – we would not have to die. Little does this ego know that immortality is assured when we let go of the attempt to control our ultimate destiny.
What threatens you? What do you worry about?
When we feel threatened we turn away from soul and become obsessed or egocentric. When we feel threatened, we let the survival instinct take over. When this happens, we cannot think because perceived or real threat shuts down the activity of the frontal lobe of the brain where we can think, reason and make choices. Loss of control for many is a common threat and a serious obstacle on the spiritual path.
We need to become aware of when we are controlling. And we need to develop and rely on trust and faith in our soul intelligence, love and power. The Soul Journey helps us do just that.
Just got this in my inbox,and related to it so strongly, thought I'd share it....Wren
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i found god in myself/and I loved her/i loved her fiercely--Ntozake Shange
This Post was very interesting to me. I have never thought of the Ego trying to Control, the Pysche, have to think about that one.
I have always thought of the Pysche or Soul as Completely separated from the Ego sense of self, body, mind.
Yesterday, I came to the conclusion that between three different personal relationships I hold dear, my youngest son, suffering with a Serious Mental Illness, the excuciating pain I saw on my Oldest Son's face on Sunday, for which I was powerless to change, and the remembering of their Father, and his sudden and untimely death, and it being Father's day, was more than my own Soul could bear. I personally and private came to the conclusion that what I feeling was excuciating Pysche or Soul pain.
I gave in to the day, surrended myself, over 1000 times to the Simple Will of God, and other than staying on the Computer, I did nothing, had my favorite meditation piece on in the background, The healing Journey. Somehow, by the end of the day, was feeling some sense of relief, in just His Will, not mine. Reaching out to others in Pain, and sharing this pain with another loving human being, helped a lot. I do agree that God reveals himself in others, that for me is a great source for the healing to start.
Releasing ourselves from our Fears is another way of Surrending to His Will, we need His help in doing that.
This takes me back to the Book, "Care of the Soul" by Thomas Moore, where he describes how when the Soul is very Vulnerable, the Soul itself is in Crisis, and we need to take great care, be very deligent in who we let into our lives, and who we remain separate from.
This morning I woke up, and felt a little sense of being restored, Spiritually, His Will, and Only His Will can accomplish this, but it requires giving the Soul or Pysche over to his Will, unconditionally.
So as I begin this new day, well the second half of it, I have to say I feel confused, for at no time, did I feel my ego or my "thinking" once, try to take this situation over, and try to control anything. A true sense or awareness of being so Powerless, was also what I willingly surrended to. Turned my telephone off for most of the day, silence is what I was seeking.
Simple Pysche or Soul pain, is to me very separate from any control stuff, whatsoever. Just my take here, maybe I am missing or misreading this? I don't know, but I just respectfully dissagree. Maybe a lesson to be leaned, that I am refusing to look at. I will have to do some Soul Seaching on this Post, for sure.
Love and Hugs to you dear, how is your day going, you have been in my thoughts and Prayers Chris, hope you can feel the love that I have been sending you.
God Bless you,
From one little Ole Miracle to another little ole Miracle.
