So after I posted my "IM GOING CRAZY!" message, i went to bed only to find the next day to be alot worse. By night time i really needed to talk to someone, so i called the nurses hotline. I told her my physical symptoms and she said i was going through sever withdrawal. So she said I HAD to go to the hospital. I thought "go to hell lady" but said ok ill wake up my parents (not) and hung up. So she calls back five minutes later and asks me what im doing, i say "rolling around on the ground" thats when she gave me the altimatum either i wake my parents up or shes sending ad ambulance. I woke them up. At the hospital they gave me enough meds to sedate a horse and i was out for two days, with a few wake up breaks. On wednesday i checked into daytox and have been assigned a nurse, councellor and a bunch of classes. I also get acupuncture and have to go to either tai chi, yoga, or meditation. Actually i feel alot better now. I still go insane but my parents sedate me once a day with a mystery pill. The acupuncturist pasted these little metal pellets to my ear so i dont go crazy over the weekend ( the center is closed) but they hurt so much and itched that i scratched most of them off. That means my "chi" is our of balance and i must find my center. (haha) I feel pretty today. I got my hair done and my nails and wore a sun dress.. it made me feel better. Yesterday i saw this horrible show when implants go bad and now im extremely paranoid that my implants are making me sick. ever since i got them i went crazy and started using drugs and swelling up and having allergies. I think im going to get them taken out. Anyways im alive!! sometimes i want to die, about every half an hour or so, but then i want to live again. I guess its the withdrawal.. Im about to get sedated by my mommy (yay) good night friends and thank you for saving my life that day i went crazy XOXOXO (these are my mood swings)
Sounds like your having a rough one. Glad you went to the hospital willingly instead of getting dragged there. Soon enough your mind will quiet down enough. It takes time. Glad your doing okay. Keep us updated on how things are going, alright?
Bless you Karina!! It is a tough call to make to save our own lives when we are in a whacked-out state like that. You just keep letting others take care of your illnesses for you right now, until you can stand on your own. There is nothing, on this planet, WRONG with asking for help and getting it. You deserve to be helped, believe it. We all deserve it.
Just make sure that when you ask for help, you are willing to receive it and abide by it. I used to get angry way back wehn, when I had to live with an aunt who was offering help. She required me to get up early, take the meds I was on at the time, and be actively involved in my own care... I used to get so mad at her, and went through periods where I wanted to be left alone (i.e. not go to therapy, not show up for an AA meeting, not get out of bed for days on end)... but she would not leave me alone. She would say, "You are the one who asked for help".... LOL I am so glad that I did!!
karina, i am glad u did this.....i have to take meds for my ptsd...that doesn't mean i am headed for another addiction, it just means, that i am getting the help i need to manage my pstd........that and the program is what keeps me going...
i am glad U took care of U and U are here..........rosie
Shoot- aside from the circumstances some acupuncture, yoga and meditation sounds pretty alright. I may have to go for a massage or something pretty soon. Been kind of a grind this month.
Glad you are OK, seems like you did the right thing.
(I think I read another of your posts where you said something along the lines that you mom has little faith in you. I meant to post but got sidetracked and anyhow- I'm 40 and have lived on my own since I was 15 and done pretty OK and still my mom doesn't have any faith in me. I think sometimes it takes a lot to gain mom's faith. I just sorta go along pretending she respects my judgement and listens to what I have to say.It's worked for me thus far.
That being said, I wish I had a mom that had what it took to get me some help when I was 15-16-17. Kinda sucks doing everything solo and really slows down the old learning process. But cest la vie. Hang in there, kiddo.
Sounds like you are going through it- it does get better if you do all you need to do to stay sober.
They taught us yoga at a rehab I was at 2 years ago, and to this day I do yoga stretches before I go to bed, it is like a little peaceful meditation time after the stress of the day- I highly recommend it.
