First...thanks to those of you that msg'd me privately thinking of me...it sure was nice to log in today to find so much thoughtfullness!
I'm sorry for my abrupt absence....I was having a hard time....Thursday was my 5 month sobriety birthday and I was feeling really discontent and agitated....I had been thinking about "Rigerous Honesty" and what that really meant. Then at Friday's Meeting God thunderbolted me with some truth....how when I came into AA 5 months ago I thought it would serve as my "Get Out Of Jail Free" card. I had betrayed my marriage...my family...and my friends. I felt that going to AA and claiming the label of "Alcoholic" would obsolve me from all this. Well...it back fired on me BIG TIME...not only am I really an Alcoholic but being one hasn't obsolved me from anything...infact, this program has taught me the opposite...how I AM RESPONSIBLE! Holy Hannah!!!!! Soooooooo...I'm back at Step One, Two, and Three. lol This disease certainly is like the Big Book says...Cunning, Baffling, and Powerful!
Just wanted to add something that an AA couselor was telling a group, in a Recovery Home for Woman, many, many years ago. Her statement was "watch out for the FIVES, five days, five months, five years" She said it was documented that at these times we get a little shakey in our own Recovery. Have never heard that before or since, but do recall that at 5 months and then again at 5 years , there was something to what she said, in how I experienced both of these times.
So glad you are back here, Phil would just probably say that with all the steam you were building up, from your Avatar, you needed a rest, he was the one that suggested I try to get my Park Bench in here, so you could take a break. Tehe.
and Yep you are right, there is a lot of gut wrenching work to be done in the Steps, but Chris and onibaloni, posted that yesterday in the 4th and 5th Steps.
The freedom that follows the work, makes the work so worthwhile. The work part of this Program, lead ALL of us to the Promises. Guaranteed.
So my friend, happy to see you back, here is what you can look forward to, dear,
The Promises
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Toni Baloney wrote: Her statement was "watch out for the FIVES, five days, five months, five years" She said it was documented that at these times we get a little shakey in our own Recovery. Have never heard that before or since, but do recall that at 5 months and then again at 5 years , there was something to what she said, in how I experienced both of these times.
I made it 5 days and then I got shakey and gave into it. I guess the FIVES thing is right. Starting over though. I'll do it this time.
It's kind of funny about the 5's. I've heard that before but never gave it much thought. Looking back the 5 that got me was the 365. One day short. It seems sort of like some voodoo or something to me but I'll keep that in mind on this journey.
Not sure if you read the post Toni started for ya while you were MIA but it was kind of humorous! Take it easy and keep posting!!!!!
Thanks ya'll! I hadn't heard of the "5's"....however I have been told that just before a milestone our thinking can become distorted-the disease trying to reclaim us and take us back out there by convincing us we don't deserve our success in sobriety.
Thanks Toni for your thoughtfulness and the reminder of the Promises...I loveeeeeeeee the Promises...I like to close any meetings I chair with the reading of the Promises. Oh and I'm TOTALLY lmao @ Phil's opinion of my Avatar and needing a park bench! HAHAHAHAHA I love ya!
LISA....glad you are here, hun...keep coming back...keep it simple...it's one day at a time! :hug:
JUSTIN...I saw that post, yup...It made me laugh and I replied! ;)
