Alchoholism is a progressive illness. We go through the three stages of social drinking, trouble drinking, and merry-go-round drinking. We land in hospitals and jails. We eventually lose our homes, our families, and our self-respect. Yes, alcoholism is a progressive illness and there are only three ends to it--the insane asylum, the morgue, or total abstinence. Will I choose not to take the first drink?
me Again, have recall of those doors opening (figuratively) Asylums, and Morgue Doors, and yes I choose with the Help of my Higher Power, that I choose to call God, that I will not Pick up that First Drink, today. A grim reminder, is a Very Good Reminder to my way of thinking.
Never, ever want to forget where it Was, that I came from, so much Motivation comes up, in those very grim memories.
Hmmmmmm.... Merry go round driniking? I guess that's when ya hop on board and go for a ride, probably in a circular fashion!! LOL! Kinda like wake up go to work, get home, get drunk, go to sleep, repeat.....etc.
Go to work? LOL, my cycle was get up, get drunk, pass out, get up, get drunk........never going one way or the other, just circling, my nose bumping into my ass since I wasn't really going anywhere....I still bruise my nose on occassion, but now I can see my big butt coming so I'm not surprised. I don't wake up wondering why I have that bruise on my nose--I know why....hugs Wren
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i found god in myself/and I loved her/i loved her fiercely--Ntozake Shange
For me, I would need to take the Merry, out of the Merry Go Round. Memories, similar to Chris' wake up, come to, more like it check to see, and yup, I had my supply, get started whenever it was that I came to, if it was 4:00 in the moring, well that was a very good time, had to get Alcohol in me ASAP, before the grim hangover I was in, got to me, same m.o. drink, pass out, drink, pass out, drink , and pass out.
There have those occasional television documentaries on the effect of drugs on Rats, and sometimes they will show two separate specimens, The first rat has food only, The second specimen has a choice of food or Heroin.
The one that has a choice, will consume all the Heroin, everyday, do the same thing the very next day, no food, just heroin, 3 times a day, until the Specimen is Dead.
I dont think of it as a merry go round, never have, for me it was when I was drinking round the clock, 24/7. The plan was if I did it long enough, with no food, could not cook in my kitchen for fear of setting my house on fire, (one intelligent cell left) anyway, it was clear that I was approaching the end of the Line. Spirit was dead, or so I thought, this kind of Raging Disease in me, was going to demand only an intervention of almost a Supernatural or Powerful Spiritual Intervention, had no idea that I was going to be receiving the Greatest Gift of my life. That was what happened, and why I am still here, on earth, writing about it. To this day, as it Humbles me, it also gives me chills. Thank you my Higher Power, that I definitely choose to call GOD! Thank you, from the deepest part of my heart. He lives in inside me, has never left, and will be with me until the end.
Wow, what a topic, and the Merry go Round part, started in me.
