My husband has been absolutely wonderful in helping me quit drinking. Luckily I didnt end up hitting bottom or losing anything from my drinking. It started to cause problems at home--with my husband but luckily I was ready to quit--I was too tired of trying to find new hiding spots, too full from drinking as much as I had to drink to get buzzed--it just wasnt fun anymore. It has been 6 months & my meetings have gone down from 1 a day to 2 a week due to my companys busy time. Now that I have found this site he is worried that Im having a problem. He keeps asking me if Im okay -- over & over. I know I should be thankful & I am -- its just that I want him to believe that I really am okay & not having thoughts of drinking. Does that just come in time?
Hi Sherry, After all I put my loved ones through with my drinking, it took awhile for them to finally relax and not worry that every little thing was a sign of me losing control over myself again. Jeez, I only lived two hours away, but when my Dad had to have an angioplasty, nobody told me because they were afraid I'd stress out and drink. This went on for a few years, ie: "don't tell Chrissie anything negative, she's fragile and might start drinking again". Drove me crazy. But I realized, they just loved me and wanted to keep me protected. In time, they really accepted that I was going to handle things okay. Now, they call me,(and I'm 14 hours away) to tell me if they have a gas pain or it's raining too much. So, they got over it. It just takes time, and patience on your part, til he really really knows that the person he loves most is going to be safe. I guess for a non-alky, they get pretty protective. But ya gotta love em.Hugs Wren
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i found god in myself/and I loved her/i loved her fiercely--Ntozake Shange
Just a thought crossed my mind, the Book Relapse Prevention is a great book, on the subject, always good to be on the lookout for taking a nosedive. This book by Gorsky, is an excellent frame of Reference, spelling out all that we need to be on the Look out for. Just a thought.
And that 1st year birthday was a good indicator to my family and friends, I was a Chronic Relapser for many years, put 3 months together, 2 weeks, 6 months, 2 days, 1 month, on and on, but had NEVER been able to put one Year together, and that one year Period also represent, completely detoxing from all the alcohol, and other insane thinking around the Relapse, Just my take here.
It was at that one year mark, that I COULD begin to feel, maybe I was going to make it after all.
The 1st Step is the Critical Step, one that needs to be taken with every fiber of our being, the other steps are done with a Sponsor, and after taking the 4th and 5th, I began to feel released from any old familiar negative reasons,old stuff that might come up and bite my in the butt. I use to carry around a Laundry List of Reasons I drank, (Figuatively Speaking) And I did see finally, that I drank for only one reason, I was an Alcoholic. Threw the list out.
Alanon, is such a wonderful RESOURCE for family members, they can begin to see their Part, hopefully, and move away from you being the "Identified Patient"
Just some thoughts, and want to say WELCOME to this BOARD, sounds like you are doing a GREAT JOB at staying Sober.
More than I am ok, I would explain how keeping connected to the program really helps you to feel better. This is a life long illness. I know my husband had some ideas from movies or whatever that AA's go to meetings once a week and that is it. I think he also thought once I quit drinking, I would quit going to AA. I have explained it to him as best I can and I think he gets it now. We have a friend who is in and out of the program and does not take it seriously. Naturally, he relapses quite often and really struggles with it. I use him for an example of what I do not want to go through, and that helps my husband understand.
Plus, sober alcoholics are fun people! Not too many dull people in AA. I have met some great friends in the program and it has become quite social for me. We share some hilarous moments. I enjoy it.
Take care, sounds like you are doing really well. All the best.
Thanks everyone! I think I might go buy that book! Also, I have been told Al-Anon is something he should go to. I actually told him every hiding place I had, how I would hide in the laundry room or hot tub room & drink--while -pretending to do laundry or pick up the hot tub room (we havent used the hot tub since I became pg with our 3 yr old & now its kinda a ketch all room!) I figured this way if I was going to relapse he would find out asap--luckily I havent had any thoughts of it! At first I thought & was told its the pink cloud you are riding on--6 months later Im still floating on that pink cloud! Thanks again for the great advice!
