I just got a telephone message from my office wanting me to call and let them know how I am doing. I am still not feeling well enough to go to work. I do contract work and I left on kinda bad terms because they were mad that I went off so abruptly (I posted about this before). I had to take care of my health though and that was completely out of character for me. I am pissed off that they were so selfish and only looking at the bottom line. I thought a few of these people cared about me, not just as a worker but as a person. When they were mad that I got sick it really pissed me off. I told one person that I was disappointed that they had not even phoned to see how I was doing and that I thought the boss was only concerned with himself. I was disappointed because we have known each other for years and I thought he would care about my health, not just my work.
Anyway, that was about 3 weeks ago and he has not phoned once to see how I am feeling. I have an awful chronic illness that he knows about. Now that he has left a message, I am pretty sure he just wants something, even though he said he was calling to see how I was feeling. I would just not worry about it, but they are good clients and they have given me a lot of business in the past and I don't really want to lose their business. I really don't feel like I can deal with it today though. Maybe that is my answer. Leave it alone for today and see how I feel about it tomorrow. Hey, I think I may have solved my own problem. How very grown up of me!
Let me know what you think. Am I being overly sensitive? Thanks for listening!
Expect the best that life offers, be prepared to handle the worst, but only deal with what ever comes.
Well said, Dan!
Pray about it hun...but don't put off dealing with it too long. Remember that we are responsible...I'm reminded of what the Big Book says about acceptance:
"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation---some fact of my life----unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing , or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake."
Well for me, I really try to stay away from Projecting. Taking people, and what they say as valid. Taking someones word for what they are saying is something that helps me stay out of Projection my own take.
If someone has an "adjenda" to anything they say to me, ever, well that's not my problem, it is theres.
Sorry you are suffering with this illness, on top of Alcoholism, which as we know is a full time thing, all by itself.
Hope the Steps of this Program, and The Acceptance, and Powerlessness, that the Program teaches us is helping you.
Interesting, I just came back from a meeting, where the chosen topic was "Fear" and most of the group talked about many different Chronic Pain issues related to other Physical illnesses that they live with everyday. Was a very interesting meeting. And we of course talked a lot about just the emotion of fear, living with many different fears, and how we deal with them, on a daily basis, so that they do not grow into "Giants" of Fear. I really do believe, that Alcoholism is a Fear Driven Disease, and now that we don't drink, in this 24 hour a day program, these fears come a calling all the time, and need to be tackled as they come up.
Hope I did not get "off the subject"
Good to see you Posting and hope you are taking good care of you.
As you can see I get a little unbalanced when it comes to people pleasing. Business is an area of my life that I have not been able to get altogether healthy. I am constantly put to the test and asked more of me than is possible and I have a really, really hard time saying no. I want to be perfect and keep everybody happy. I almost kill myself doing it.
I posted this about 1 minute after I got the message - thought I would give my sponsor a break from the topic. Every time something comes up at work I have to phone my sponsor and she says basically the same thing every time - take care of yourself first. I must have had this conversation with her 100 times and prayed on this issued 200 (ok maybe 50) times. I have been praying for balance lately when it comes to work, family and health. I don't know why I have so much trouble turnin this over.
Anyway, as you get to know me, you will see that I get a bit crazy around work and people pleasing issues. I am still sick. Big Sigh.
