The Insanity Defense

Over the years I've heard thousands of relapse stories and they all had one thing in common. Every relapse began with either a dramatic fall-off in meetings or they stopped going at all. I have a pet theory I'd like to tell you about. Most people believe that things get crazy if an alcoholic drinks again, which of course is true. But the book says that what actually happens is that the insanity returns and we drink again. We are in full blown relapse, beyond human aid, and we haven't picked up the drink yet.

I remember as a newcomer getting chills at hearing so many relapse stories in meetings, so I asked my sponsor "what's the deal with that, and what's the point of this if you drink again"? He told me to go up to those people after the meeting and ask them what they were doing before they drank again, and then don't do that. So I go to meetings. A lot of meetings. Meetings have become my personal insanity defense, and it's at meetings that I hear the things I need to be doing to stay sober. I've never had a clerk at the corner convenience store ask me what step I'm on, no one at Dairy Queen tells me to work the steps.

I suppose, altho I seriously doubt it, that there is such a thing as too many meetings. But there is for sure such a thing as too few meetings. The problem is, that number is a mystery, no one knows for sure how few meetings are going to get 'em drunk. So if you're going to screw up your meeting schedule do too many.

And finally, staying in the meetings is as much about responsibility to the newcomer as it is personal sobriety. If all those people who sobered up before me had taken a hike with their newfound toys, who would have been there to guide me at the start of my sober journey? Gratitude in recovery is manifested in service, and grateful alcoholics never descend into the insanity that precedes relapse.

G