it is 9.30, and I have had two glasses of wine (sorry for posting when not sober, I hope I don't upset other members). I will not post again unless I am 100% straight. I won't be having more to drink because I have just taken half a tablet my gp prescribed me....supposedly to alleviate my anxiety disorder. Some sort of anti-depressant that will help me sleep better. Should not be mixing with booze, obviously, but I am not alone tonight - am staying parents' house. Parents are both alkies but tonight my mother is pretty much with it. Just one of those things....went past the cask of wine and thought, why not? Before I knew it, glass in hand. So I have not even managed two days without a drink, despite best of intentions and a strangely peaceful feeling this morning...a feeling to the effect of: well, you don't know whether there is a God or not, but why not just relax and hand it all over to someone/somewhere/something else (that is the anxiety, misery, guilt)....? A though occurred to me from my bible reading school days: Jesus said 'my yoke is easy, my burden light'. I'm not a Jesus freak or anything. But it seemed like such a lovely thought, and for a few hours it seemed believable. And I thought: the longer I don't drink, and the longer I don't call or have contact with my ex, the more of myself I will get back.
I really thought I would make it through the day. But the way I went for that wine tonight was just robotic.
I need meetings.It is easy enough to find them in my area. One problem is my child, though. I don't think I can take her (she is only three, she would act up, I know she would, and also she is pretty smart and I am not sure I want to talk about the seamier parts of myself in front of her). I used to see kids at AA meetings before but they were usually older. There's no babysitting on offer: I can't afford daycare. I know this sounds like I'm making excuses. The only time I could make a meeting would probably be when my ex has my daughter overnight, but that's only once a week, and that's a whole week away!
I don't ask for sympathy or anything. Prayers would be appreciated though. I am going to go to bed now and drink no more. I want to be rested tomorrow. I want to get through tomorrow completely alcohol free.
In this Country, they have some meetings that include daycare for children, while the meeting goes on, unfortunately they are usually only one day a week.
do you have a Meeting Schedule? Perhaps when you find a meeting, you could ask this question about daycare, you might find another mother or two, that would like to work a trade with you, so that you could all attend on different days. Meeting do have a real way of getting these things working out, I have seen people ask for many different things, and when they ask and keep asking, see the problems get resolved.
When I was fairly new, I had a 4 and 5 year old to take care of..
There were a couple of meetings that had playrooms, and those of us at the meeting..would take turns watching over the kids, there...It worked great..We still have a few meetings like that..
The other nights? Got together with a couple of other single parents..and we took turns in our homes..while the others went to a meeting..
There was once..when I phoned the AA hotline..explained the delema..and an AA member...came into my home while..I went to a meeting..
Have the best day can eh? Youre tryin....hang tough..
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Life is short..Live it sober to the fullest...One day at a time...
when my son was little i too had no one to baby sit so i had a home womens step group. and because i had a yard at the time i held campfire meetings on sat. nights in the summer. its always been a challenge to get to meetings when you are a single parent.some times i brought him but he didnt like it,and i found it impossible to concentrate when he was with me at a meeting. the home meeting thing worked best for me.
