My sponcer has accused me of "dumping" at meetings.
What I see in my share is what is going on and how I dealt with it. it looks to me like my sponcer is looking only that I mention what a tough time I have been having, but not the end bit, that says how i dealt with it.
Im tired so I shall not say too much, only that it has made me want to avoid meetings now.
Just an idea here Robert, maybe your sponsor is telling u to talk less in meetings and listen more, and "dump" on him. I know from my own experience that there are some things that are ment to be shared with a sponsor and not in meetings. Keep Commin back!!
The word "dumping" usually means to just vent spleen in a long tirade of complaints and negativity with no attempt at resolution. It is just blah, blah , blah, blah, blah,,,, for too long ad nauseam. There is no recovery thought in it. Sometimes that is a sign of clinical depression. In order to recover, from alcoholism, depression, a crisis in a marriage, or whatever, there has to be some kind of positive problem solving that the person himself, or herself, is doing,,,, not just advice seeking. It is staying on the pity-pot and wanting other people to join them on it.... it is like 'crying in my beer'. Another thought might be a recovery thought. But we can't really know what your sponsor means, cuz we weren't there and don't know him.
My mom was depressed, and couldn't get herself going, especially in the relationship with my very controlling dad. She went to shrinks and shared her feelings, but when the therapy got to the point where the shrink said, 'okay, now it's time to make some positive changes', she quit and got another therapist.
These are my thoughts, that might have nothing at all to do with the situation. Take what you need and leave the rest.
God bless you,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
I am sorry that you are having so much difficulty with the Fellowship of AA.
It is just in that first Step, "We were Alcoholics - - and our lifes have become Unmanagable"
Do you have a 24 hour Book, it was like my Bible in that first year. It has a thought, meditation, and then a Prayer, all interwoven.
Do you still have the same Sponsor, and is he willing to work the Steps with you now.
I feel, and it is a fact to the Program, that the 12 Steps are the way out of the Disease of Alcoholism.
And if you are not working these Steps with a Sponsor, then I would think that you would continue to struggle, until you begin. Step 2, and Step 3 are very critical steps, leading to the Fourth Step, that will produce a feeling or Release, when you finish the Fourth Step, with a 5th Step.
You can change Sponsors anytime in this Program, look for someone that HAS what you want, and ask him.
This Program DOES work WHEN you work it, and sometimes that Work is difficult, but when we are willing to do whatever it takes, then we are Ready to go forward.
My Prayers are with you, and that you find resolutions in the Meetings and Sponsorship, so that you struggling so hard will be eased.
Toni
P.S. Robert, when I had completed the 5th Step, I do remember feeling a deep sense of being Released from most of my negative thinking, in my case it was attached to old worn out toxic stuff that had so much personal shame and guilt and being a Victim of my own life. That Step, that I took with a Professional AA counselor, was the beginning of a new life, without shame, without guilt, and no longer chained to my past. Worth every struggle that I went through, to get there, it was now into, making those amends, and getting on with my new, or rather than new, my OWN life, for the first time.
The Gift of HOPE is there for all of us, Robert, in this We Program. I can't, He Can, and I let Him, all the time.
i have just completed a horrible surgery, well horrible from the Pain presceptive, but I know that just getting thru today, it will pass, many years ago, I would have been stuck in "Poor Me" but as a RESULT of working this Program, I just put in the "Oh, Well" catagory, and feel Gratitude for the Expert that I was able to use.
In early recovery my sponsor told me a number of times...
Bring your mess to me, and carry a message to the meetings.
Usually, after sharing my mess with him, I could go to a meeting and bring up a step or topic that was related to my issues, and then listen to how other people apply them or deal with the same topic...without giving the details of my mess... this allowed others to leave a good solid message of hope for both myself and others there.
