advice -A proposal for an appropriate course of action suggestion -A proposal offered for acceptance or rejection - Persuasion formulated as a suggestion
I cant give advice to anyone....Im a recovering alcoholic...and am not in a pofessional position...of any kind...anything Ive learned has been passed down by others...and program...
Or through the school of Hard Knocks..and my way....
Suggestions? I can guide another person..through experience, and strength...re...the different situations Ive been in(IF THEY ASK ME)....and share with them what I did...or direct them to those that can give professional advice...
Suggestions , as where to look for answers...re Big Book and 12 and 12...etc.
I cannot work your program...its an individual thing...and its your path...but we do it all together...
As for outside sources....that are just spouting off...as to the things I should be doing, and not doing? um...Im either going to let it go....and walk away...or tell them to blow it out their...um...well..you know.
Yu know how to get an alky to do something....? Tell him to do the opposite.:)
You guys have a good night eh...
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Life is short..Live it sober to the fullest...One day at a time...
I agree that giving advice and giving suggestions is really about the same thing... both are telling someone else what they should do with their lives. That is why we are supposed to keep the focus on ourselves, and stick to sharing what our experience, strength and hope is with the program. Hey,,, if we could give ourselves good advice , and follow it, we wouldn't be in the program with unmanageable lives. It's always easier to run someone else's life than our own, eh? The AA people say that the program is all only suggestion because they don't want to say that anyone has to do anything, so we say, "well, I did this and it worked for me, and I've seen it work for lots of people who did it thoroughly",,, and they don't want to say, "you have to do this".
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
"Attraction, rather than Promotion" Amen to this AA saying.
If we are keeping our Own side of the street, clean, that requires daily maintenance.
There are times whn people in the Fellowship, will ask me for My opinion on how they should do this, or do that. I have always felt a little "trap" in that, the answers alway seem to be in the written material of the 12 Steps, and in the Book of Alcholics Anonymous, "Into the Solution" is my favorite suggestion."
When I have a problem, the solution to that Problem can be found in a daily inventory, and/or a tenth step required, on have to seach and find the answer in the written material.
I had a sponsee several years ago, that cornered me as I was walking into a meeting, she was furious, and said, this is NOT working when all I hear is about your History, and how you got sober, when I need to talk about MYSELF. You will not let me. I just let her get her steam out, and smiled and said the only requirment is that I share my E S & H, with you, and ask you to read what is WRITTEN, and where in the Steps, you might find your Solution.
I had about 8 years at the time, and have to admit she did throw me a "curve ball" as far as my confidence as being a Sponsor. But I had asked to think over the terms of my being a Sponsor, and if she agreed, then we could go forward. My terms were very simple, that I would share my ES & H, with her, as it related to getting stuck on a step, and how and where I found my Solution, IN THE BOOKS of AA.
I had had 4 Sponsees before her, and every single one, had gone out again, some came back, and others did not, so I made a decision for myself, because I didn't like the way if felt, when these young people would go out. Felt it must have been my fault in some way. My own Recovery had to come FIRST. That maybe I was not Sponsor material, needed to do other Service work, and I did.
Had a person ask me to Sponsor them, 2 months ago, did say that the Relationship would only be, for the most part, the Written Material, 12x12, and the AA Readings. could feel that co-dependant stuff coming from her, like she wanted to be pals. A sonsor is not a friend, initially, that is my take, just a guide.
So when the weeks progressed, and she refused to meet and discuss the Steps, I simple told her, the timing was off, she had so much other stuff going on, and because her focus could not seem to move into the work that I had mentioned, that yes I would be her friend, but I took Sponsorship very seriously, and could not longer attempt to be her Sponsor. She was not comfortable with that, but I was, and today we continue to be friends. Granted she does have Serious Problems, that are addressed in her outside help. She has been in the Program for many years, and had had a Relapse. But now lives a life on Pain Meds that are justified, to her, cannot fight what others do, as a result of a very serious Back Problem, but the Pain meds, cloud her thinking. I just include her in my Prayers, that is all I can do.
The Program outlines in pretty simple terms, the requirements for both Sponsor and Sponsee. That is how I see it.
hmmm maybe in the way a person percieves it