I just wanted to talk about my relationship with my mother. I remember being a teenager when I discovered alcohol. At the time this was the greatest thing I could possibly imagine. I had finally found something to make me feel good and make bad situations endurable. My family life was horrible and I used alcohol to escape from the miserable reality of things. There was a lot of arguing and fighting between me, my mother, and my father. One week after I turned eighteen I was booted out of my house. I had to drop out of school and obtain a full time job to go with my part time job to support myself. This is when my alcohol use started to accelerate. Along with my drinking, my feelings towards my mom turned into twisted feelings of hatred. This went on for ten years with little or no communication between us. I blamed all of the problems in my life on my mom and especially my dad. I hated them.
After many years of misery I have finally found sobriety. In the beginning of my first time sober I had to work through my resentments with my family members. Today I have a relationship with my mom that I never wanted but always needed. When I talk to my mom now I feel the bond between us called love. It is so wonderful to see her smile and feel good feelings and not negative ones. This is the miracle in my life. Through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous I have found a new life. I still remember the person that I was. This is my reminder to hold onto the program for dear life. I never thought I could feel this way. I thought I would be depressed and miserable for the rest of my life because that's all I knew, that was normal to me. Now I know what it is to be content with what I have and that is where my feelings of completeness and happiness come from.
I know some of you are probably skeptical looking at the time I have sober in relationship to some of my posts. Yeah I don't have much time sober, but I do have a few years in the program and I am trying my hardest to apply the principles of this program to my daily life, inside and outside of the rooms of A.A. This is all I can do.
This has been a true miracle in my life. I thank God every day for the things He's given me. I know I alone am not responsible for the things I have in my life. All I am doing is what other alcoholics tell me to do and the results have been nothing short of astounding. Yeah, it's five in the morning and I feel grateful and not hung over. Somethings wrong here. LOL! I must be a little crazy!
I'm taking my mom, brother, and nephew to a pancake breakfast fund raiser for the local A.A. club this morning. Imagine that!
I hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday. I appreciate all of your support.
Thank you for that share! "Yeah, it's five in the morning and I feel grateful and not hung over. Somethings wrong here. LOL! I must be a little crazy!" I remember the first time I woke up in the morning and found myself singing 'What a Wonderful World' and I thought the same thing. We've been crazy so long it feels normal, and sanity is strange. " I am trying my hardest to apply the principles of this program to my daily life, inside and outside of the rooms of A.A. This is all I can do." the program works if we work it.
God bless you,
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
I read your Post, (I always look forward to them), and wanted to comment on something you wrote:
"I know some of you are probably skeptical looking at the time I have sober in relationship to some of my posts."
I personally have never seen real skepticism in A.A.. I believe once in a while when I hear people speaking about others and their Program in a negative way (Gossip), I have never really even seen that as skepticism, but rather ignorance. Dangerous waters in my mind.
To make a crrtical judgement of another, while we are trying to hold on to the Gift of Sobriety, all of us, in this 24 hour Program for Living, is and has never been a real Part of A.A.
I watched you come, struggling, and struggling at first, and then when the meetings in your life started, the struggling so hard ceased, and Recovery took hold. (I hope this above is not even a judgement), just what I have observed.
Watching a Miracle take place is one of the Gifts of this Program.
Our Higher Power is the One really in charge of this Program, it remains a very Mysterious Wonder in my Life, that I was given this Gift. I have watched some very wonderful people, that were very Beloved friends, die of this Disease.
Amazing Grace, you and I and all the others that have been given this Gift of God's Grace, never question others.
And so happy to see your Relationship with you Mother turning into a healthy, loving realtionship.
Hope this is a better Sunday than last week on Sunday (smile), have a great day.
Thanks for sharing your experience Justin. It really helps to hear others stories of success in the program......Gives some of us a little hope! Thank You!
