I went up to the meeting place(club) to help fix the place up today. It was cool for a while. Then a couple of hours later two women came and I got thrown for a loop. They started talking to me like I wasn't doing anything and I started to get really angry. I kept my mouth shut but boy was I screwed up in the head. I get home and what happens but more of the same. Sometimes I can't escape from sh*t. It just seems to follow me. Just overall, a very frustrating start to the day. Some day I will be able to intuitively know how to handle these situations which baffle the *bleep* out of me. When I get emotionional my language kind of goes to the gutter. Imagine that? Bye all........
yeagh that happends to me to, recently, I was elected to be the president of a committe for my group, it was our groups 59th annaversery. This one lady member came to one of the committe meetings and just started "taking over" after every thing we had voted on she tried to change it...... well I got very angry and walked out of the meeting (so I could check my own motives) had a chit chat with sponsor about it. Acouple of days later she called me and aplogized and we worked out the situation. Just rember love and tolerance isour code here in A/A and we are all people just trying to get better. One thing I have learned is what's important to u , might not be to somone else. On these frustrating days, I get on my knees and pray for guidence. Hang in there sober!!!!
It seems that I see a lot of "control" issues at times with people running the meetings.
There was a woman, that ran a meeting one day a week, and I did like her, but she asked this person to come and visit with her 20 minutes on those days to keep her company. I watched when one day the woman came in 5 minutes before the meeting, and she really started grilling her on why she did not get there earlier?? Go figure, eh?
Just have to remember it's their stuff, even if they are directed it at you.
One time, this new woman in the program, asked me to give her my phone number, which I was happy to do, and did. She walked over to me a few minutes later, tapped me on the shoulder, and said to me, "I think you needed to ask me for my phone numer too", like I had broken some unwritten ediquite. i said sure, and got her phone number, but did have to really force myself, to leave the annoyance of being corrected, so she thought, there, and not allow myself to get pushed out of shape over it.
I really try to take what I want, and be SURE to leave these little things, that can get on your nerves BEHIND, so I don't bring these things home with me, it would be like taking a little garbage bag home with me, instead of throwing it in the Waste receptible that is there by the front door.
Sorry to hear she kind of ruined what could been a great day. I am sure you were doing something, just not what she thought you SHOULD be doing.
Hope you have a better Monday, you sure are doing all you can do these days, the meetings, have a good Sponsor, working the Steps, the commitment you have made to this Program. Thats what I mean by doing all you can do. The rest is just trivia that goes on when people gather in groups.
I have this good friend in Marin, that has been doing this Program for 25 years, off and on, had completed his First year, again.
One day after one of the hundreds of meetings he goes to, some guy gave him a bad time, about his Shuitsu dog, that is really a great dog, he accused him of messing with his fancy sports car. It upset my friend so much, he got such a Resentment over this, he pick up a Drink. He is now back in the Program after taking that one drink to Las Vegas to see the Rolling Stones ,started drinking 24 hours a day, got into a Black-out, thought about jumping off the balcony of his 14th story window, called his sponsor, and is now o.k. But for me I have to be on GUARD against any and all potential Resentments.
They scare me more that anything these days, because they have the Potential of turning into a Burning Resentment, and who knows where it would take me.
Did not mean to get so bla bla bla, here, I just did, thinking about taking most of this out, but oh well, I'll just leave it. You can throw it out, haha.
anyway, I notice a lot of meetings are like the one you were at. I was so happy to see you did the right thing...talked to sponsor!! yyaaa!!! Best to pray for the others that were on your b---. they really need it, eh? and it says that in the BB story, "Freedom from Bondage", BB 3rd edition...pg545...
Is a great message..and you did a great job carrying the message of "use your sponsor"..and.."new behavior"
