If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of the normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 66
"Dubious luxury." How often have I remembered those words. It's not just anger that's best left to nonalcoholics; I built a list including justifiable resentment, self-pity, judgmentalism, self-righteousness, false pride and false humility. I'm always surprised to read the actual quote. So well have the principles of the program been drummed into me that I keep thinking all of these defects are listed too. Thank God I can't afford them--or I surely would indulge in them.
ANGER: A "DUBIOUS LUXURY"If we were to live, we had to be free of anger.
my take on this is God GAVE us anger for a reason....a good reason.....anger is the precurser to setting boundaries.......**righteous** anger is ok, as long as we don't "sin in our anger"
my anger at my abuser was a natural reaction to the violation of me that was done, and to get healthy i had to FEEL and discharge that anger at my abuser , where it belonged.....it took me 18 months of venting/ screaming/ raging to finally get to what i call the "post flood" stage where i could get to the grief parts...
i may see anger/ grief for the rest of my life, crop up at times, but it doesn't control me anymore.....i manage it.....
anger in itself is an emotion, just like the others...but to wallow in it...to allow it to turn into resentment, THEN i was in trouble and my "stuffed" anger DID turn into resentment....i was never allowed to feel my emotions, so i was a bucket full of anger/rage/resentment......
i am , one day at a time, being freed of that......i am READY now to give up the hate and resentment towards my abuser....i ask my hp to replace the hate with love.....the resentmetn with compassion for the REDEEMABLE souls.....the other folks who did /said things to hurt me i released them.....discharged the anger, some i set boundaries on, and kept in my life......the others i walked away from.......
now my anger is a warning boundaries are being violated.......or that i need to deal with some feelings.......
my anger is diferent now.....i am going to own/ embrace/ allow ALL my emotions as they come up.....i don't have to act on them, but i must FEEL them.
