We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people. . . . ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 52
These words remind me that I have more problems than alcohol, that alcohol is only a symptom of a more pervasive disease. When I stopped drinking I began a lifetime process of recovery from unruly emotions, painful relationships, and unmanageable situations. This process is too much for most of us without help from a Higher Power and our friends in the Fellowship. When I began working the Steps of the A.A. program, many of these tangled threads unraveled but, little by little, the most broken places of my life straightened out. One day at a time, almost imperceptibly, I healed. Like a thermostat being turned down, my fears diminished. I began to experience moments of contentment. My emotions became less volatile. I am now once again a part of the human family.
Daily ReflectionsA LIFETIME PROCESSWe were having trouble with personal relationships, wecouldn't control our emotional natures, we were a preyto misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, wehad a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, wewere unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help toother people. . . .ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 52
XXXXXXX oh i realize that my addiction to alcohol was only a SYMPTOM of my shame based spirit and of course my ptsd......get to the root??? lose the need for substance abuse---- my Higher Power is what i run to now....my HP and the steps/ sponser/ program et al.....my life was soooo bad, i HAD to drink/ eat/ be compulsive to numb my horrendous pain....ANYthing was better than "feeling".......i was FULL of fear, chronically miserable....i had lost my identity as a human being...i became a "human **doing**" to justify my being here.....i was taught that i was a "mistake"
These words remind me that I have more problems thanalcohol, that alcohol is only a symptom of a morepervasive disease. When I stopped drinking I began alifetime process of recovery from unruly emotions,painful relationships, and unmanageable situations.
XXXXXXX oh alcohol was , i am seeing, only a SYMPTOM of the horrendous problems/ sicknesses/ pain/ grief that i had...the toxic shame i felt about my BEING.....when i "quit numbing" i saw how screwed up i was.....and it is painful now , going through this f.o.o. pain and anger and grief....letting my inner child have her "say" and FEELING the FEELINGS--- thawing out old emotions....talk about PAIN!!!!! but i am going THROUGH it so i can get THROUGH it.......one day at a time...sometimes one HOUR at a tilme
This process is too much for most of us without helpfrom a Higher Power and our friends in the Fellowship.When I began working the Steps of the A.A. program,many of these tangled threads unraveled but, littleby little, the most broken places of my lifestraightened out. One day at a time, almostimperceptibly, I healed. Like a thermostat beingturned down, my fears diminished. I began to experiencemoments of contentment. My emotions became lessvolatile. I am now once again a part of the humanfamily.
XXXXXXXXX oh my goodness....how did i make it w/out a power greater than i??? the need for power to make me feel "ok about me" the FEAR that if i did have to **surrender--admit my dependency on a HP** i would fall apart....funny i had to find the light in the **darkness**....i had to find defeat b4 i could even smell victory...... i am too, finding healing for the broken places in my life......one day at a time..............gr8 share, doll.....hows it goin???? hope u are doing great!!!! rosie
