There are offenses given & offenses not given but taken.
—Izaak Walton

We bring on a lot of unnecessary suffering by being supersensitive. How often, for example, do we get our feelings hurt by what someone else has said? If this is a regular refrain in our lives, we may need to listen more closely to what is actually being said. Perhaps it’s a whole lot less than what we are hearing.

    If our basic posture in life is defensive, we find ulterior motives everywhere. Then there can be no such thing as a simple statement that simply means what it means. No! Then what is said is not nearly so important as why it is said. When we’re listening for motives rather than messages, we hear what we expect to hear. If we expect to be personally attacked, that’s the way we’ll translate whatever is said to us. Most of the time the speaker intended no such thing & may not even be aware that we are hurt.

    Supersensitivity is always a sign of low self-esteem. It’s a symptom of a deeper disorder called chronic defensiveness. Except in wartime, it isn’t necessary to look for aggressors behind every bush. It isn’t appropriate to “hear” put-downs & insults when none were spoken. Until we deal with that defensiveness, we have to accept responsibility for our own hurt feelings.

As I grow in self-esteem, I become less vulnerable to imagined slights.

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My God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me, I cannot know for certain where it will end … but I will not fear, for you are ever with me.
—Thomas Merton

If self-esteem means confidence & confidence means being sure about what’s going to happen, then we’re all out of luck in the self-esteem department. None of us knows the answers to the biggest, most important questions in life. If that fact makes us terribly insecure, we’re going to be in for a whole lot of fear, worry & anxiety.

    The truly confident person knows that life is much more of a process & a journey than a matter of answers & destinations. It is one thing not to know where the road leads—but quite another to be paralyzed because we don’t know. If the open road makes us too frightened & insecure, we will probably miss all the lovely scenery along the way. And we won’t learn the lessons of the journey.

    Confidence arises from self, not circumstances. Just because the road is uncertain doesn’t mean that we are. If we have a Higher Power walking just ahead of us, we have all the security we need.

Confidence in God turns my insecurity into trust.