Just recently I have been getting emotions back I think I have drunk away before. I suppose this is a normal part of recovery. I suddenly have something I did when I was drinking come into my mind and I just can not believe I did some of the things I did. But I know if I learn from those mistakes and do everything that is suggested at the meetings and in the Big Book then I will learn a new way of life and eventually learn to live with the past. I know one thing this time round I AM NOT GOING TO DRINK on these feelings I am going to embrace them and go through them, and I hope come out the other side a stronger SOBER recoverying alcoholic!
Thank God we can feel, and thank God we can cry, I believe crying is the way we wash our sorrows out. I try to celebrate my tears, even when there is a tremendous amount of pain that goes along with them. They help wash the pain way, thats my take. My spirit feels like it does, after it has rained really hard and you know how good the air feels after it rains. When I am going through something painful, I try to take that pain to Prayer, and when I do, I do not know how it works, but I always feel some little release from the pain.
So glad you shared that, this Board is so wonderful for all emotions. Eh? Good, Bad, Horrible, Sad, Angry, you name it, its all here.
Early Recovery can feel like a colidiscope or avalanche of feelings, and that is what so great in my opinion, new, but wonderful. (Just my little opinion here, nothing more)
u know i look at tears as a cleansing-- a release---- liquid prayers!!!!
monday am, when my beloved doggie had her 2nd seizure and all the other PAINful and awful experiences i have been having-- just one disaster at a time--- rounds and rounds of unwanted events....i sat and i sobbed!!!!
after prayer and surrender to my HP that i just couldn't take anymore--and my tears---i felt a RELEASE--- like the darkness was being lifted off me----
i was wrung out from all crying, but i felt "lighter" after it.....
for so long all i could do was rage, i could never cry...now i can...i can as i get closer to me and my inner child--- feel OK to cry!!!! rosie
rosie, toni, trudi.... I can really relate to what all of you are saying... feelings are hard for me to deal with,,, and for years all I could feel was anger, too. And it is a major part of my work now to let my feelings come up,, identify them, and work through them to the other side, which is healing. I'd be interested in knowing what some of the guys experience, too. I used to hate to cry... a thing about giving the person who hurt me the satisfaction of seeing and making me cry... but it is, in balance, a healthy thing. That is part of how we support each other,,, I see what you mean, toni... letting each other feel all those feelings, and work through them,,, and not get rejected for them,, but just be here for the person who needs to share at the moment. thank you all
love in recovery,
amanda
__________________
do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
There are days where I wish I could cry. Tears just won't come. I remember when I lost my girlfriend a couple of years ago I cried alot. Someday I will get to do one of those amends at her gravesite. Not really looking forwards to that. I have seen alot of people cry at meetings. I did myself when I had been relapsed and couldn't stay sober to save my life. It's good to be sober today and I have alot to be grateful for. I feel like I am working a good program and that is a good feeling. Oh well, I'm rambling! Crying is perfectly normal and healthy behavior.
Thank God, I can finally feel again, because I am sober. I cried much more when I was drinking than I do sober, but I believe that was a result of depression and having absolutely nothing to be happy about. Early in recovery, I wanted to cry each time I talked about myself at a meeting, and I think that was due to the horrible shame I felt about myself. I dont feel like crying every time I talk about myself anymore, because I feel better about myself in sobriety. The shame has been diminished....ahhh progress!
A good cry can be a very cleansing experience for me. If I feel better when it's over, I know it was a good cry and that I have moved thru the feeling.
Thanks everyone everything I read made me feel better. It is so good to know what I am going through is all part of the healing process. And yes it is good to be able to 'feel' again. The support and messages I read on this site are helping to keep me sober a day at a time along with the meetings, my sponsor and the programme. Thanks everyone for being there. Love Trudi.