Welcome Back, Robert. I completely relate to what you've said---I live in an isolated area, and have found this board to be a real support, a wonderful way to remind me of where I come from.
One time, my husband didn't pay the server bill. I was in the middle of something important, and "bing", lost my connection. Took me an hour to find out why. The server, a local business, was closed until ten the next morning. I had such an anxiety attack, I had to sit in the tub to relax, LOL. Like, it was my connection to the outside world, right? Then I remembered--I saved all the aol cds that we would get in the mail, just in case I found something I could use them for besides frizbee. I tell you, I hauled butt out to my car where the newest one was, installed it, and used aol for the 24 hours it took for my server to reconnect me. I empathize totally with you.
I am sorry you are in such pain. That kind of pain wipes out our defenses, and it does make us more emotional.
The important thing is, you are back. I've enjoyed your postings the short time I have been here, and I'm looking forward to hearing more from you again. If it's okay, I will pray for peace for you? Blessings, Wren
__________________
Funny, isn't it, how friends and a Power greater than ourselves can neutralize nightmares?
And welcome back, I am sorry you are in a lot of pain. Does not feel good. Once when I was writing about some pain that I was in, someone from the Alanon board Posted something about "The Gift of Pain", It was, I believe a title to a book, and I did not pursue it.
But Pain is a real teacher, that is for sure. And, the obvious good news is that we ARE Feeling it, not blotting out with Alcholol.
Hope tomorrow brings some relief to you. There is no way around it, just right through the middle of it. But is really does not feel good, when its there.
So God Bless you and thank you for sharing that. We all missed you.
How is your Back? Is that the pain you are referring to?
Have you found any good treatment or therapy, something to give you some hope?
I have a sponcer and he has been guiding me. I always find the hardest places to use the program are at work and at home!
page 86 is of use to me, because it gives me a frame for the day. it advises me how to start how to end and what to do in the middle!
I am confused about my HP. I have a friend in A.A god bless his soul. He has become a Christian, and is telling me it is the only wayt forward. I am easily led and I am a little anxious because I do not wish to become a Christian. I went to his church once and it scared the ***** out of me, they were just crazy! all hands in the air and singing and praise the lord.
I hope that has not offended anyone. I like the idea of my own HP not someone elses. But this guy was telling me that on the day of armagedon I would g oto hell unless I gave myself to Jesus.
What do you guys think?
I am not really anti religion, but I see so much unhappyness in this world and most of it is due to greed and the rest is religion.
this is an email I recieved today from a friend:
"It wasnt so much drugs it was his family that originally kicked him out because they are all Jehovas Witnesses and he was born into it and over the years slowly started to question there ways and then ended up getting kicked out because of many things including drugs. And Jehovas Witnesses, If a member of there family decides to leave or not be one, they are not allowed to be spoken to or communicated with, same with friends...pretty indirectly racist.
He stayed at mine for ages, and now he manages to stay at other friends or squat places like empty houses or empty shops and that. He had to start selling crack cocaine and heroin to make some money but the person he done it with was useless and ended up getting them both kicked of the job (not the type of thing you want to do alone).
hmm. well,, there are "Christians" who say they are Christians but sure don't act like it. And then there are "Christians" who have this idea of righteousness and the 'wrath of God" . Then there are these Christians and those Christians,,, and they don't all have very much in common. It can get confusing. And it can really be a turn off , too. Then, there is Jesus, and one has to really read the New Testament to see past some of the really poor witnesses that there are. Jesus, himself, is recognized by almost all people as a really great prophet and man and teacher,, at least. So I kind of agree about organized religions, including Islam and Buddhism, too.
One of my uncles got into the Jehovah's Witnesses. There is a lot I don't agree with there, but we all love each other. We have an agreement not to try to convert each other or argue.
re: the letter.... "he had to sell crack"? I don't think so.. that's all I gotta say about that.
love in recovery,
amanda
__________________
do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
I am thinking, would he be telling you that if you were Jewish, or Buddist. I personally think, that this Program, for the most part, needs to keep their own particular Demonination out of this Program, it can be very suffocating.
This Program would never work with any particular Religious beliefs. I think that is an understood fact here. Infact I am sure of it. This is a Spiritual Program, we hear a million times, separating any individuals Religous Belief out.
This Program would not survive, in my opinion, we would just have everyone in the rooms debating or arguing about their particular beliefs being superior to others. We only want to limit Topics in Meetings to Alcohol. That is why at so many Meetings, you will hear, "Please confine you comments to Alcoholism.
Sorry, you are having a difficult time with this, it can and does turn so many people off, when someone is speaking of their own beliefs. Especially the stuff about Armageden. YICKs.
I personally don't think your Sponsor has a full grasp of this Program, just my little opinion here.
You are in the meetings to be "saved" from the deadly Disease of Alcoholism, Right?
A Higher Power of our Understanding. Thats all. It is in the Book, many, many times. And right there in the second, third and eleventh Steps.
Hope you can clear this up with him.
God Bless for all you efforts, and your patience in this situation.
Toni, oops Robert, I went back and re read what you wrote, it is not your sponsor, just a friend, and if it is just a friend, you could listen, and just say, Thanks for sharing.
And really sorry, that pain is from a slipped disk, OUCH!!
Welcome back Robert, It sounds as though you are working the AA program.Good for you... getting a sponsor. The friend and the Christian talk....maybe you can tell him that it make you uncomfortable at this time. Can you do as the program suggest, take what you like and leave the rest?
I'm sorry you are still in pain, I have chronic pain and it is very draining and sometimes I feel I will not make it through the day, I have found that the serenity prayer helps me through it also.
re: the letter.... "he had to sell crack"? I don't think so.. that's all I gotta say about that. "
I agree with you there, however I used to have a image of drug dealers - flash car good looks, when I came into recovery and saw people who used and sold, my image could not have been more wrong, I kind of feel sorry for people who are that desperate now.
Robert, me too. Sometimes it is a kind of desperation, and they are really not aware of the better alternatives that there are. That's addiction for ya.
God bless you today,
amanda
__________________
do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Physical pain is a reality of life...for some of us...
Then theres emotional pain,and emotional growth...and emotional balance..In AA we call it "No Pain? No Gain"
Higher Power...? "As we understand Him" AA is a spiritual program....you do your own thing..with that one...
If this program was one of Religion? Ide be drinkin.:) And would never have got through the doors...
Had to use G.O.D. Good orderly direction for a lotta days...before comming to an understanding of a Higher Power of my own...today? Its a personal thing...
I remember a guy...used to come to meetings with his bible..and at one meeting he started to recite from it...
An oldtimer....gently took his bible...placed it by the door..and kindly told him to pick it up..on the way out...after the meeting...
----------
You guys going through physical pain Today? Well...My legs are numb...my back is wrecked...I have a right arm..in a sling..because of pulled tendons....and I fight a battle with Leukemia..and depression..each and every day...
I operate a business 130 hours a week...Im a Mother and Father of 3...2 of which are still at home...and I do housework...on a daily basis..
I also have the responsibility of overseeing 31 groups in Alcoholics Anonymous...
And am responsible.to AA...when anyone..anywhere..reaches out for help...
When the goin gets tough..the tough get goin...
As long as Im still twitchin...and sober..Im grateful....
My share for the day....Keep lookin up....:)
__________________
Life is short..Live it sober to the fullest...One day at a time...
