Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness are the three essentials to an alcoholic in recovery.
When I first came into the program I was told this. I remember thinking that doesn't sound so hard. I didn't really have a god to believe in and when it came to god of my understanding I was stumped. So much for open-mindedness. I had to go and do some more "research." When I came back I found myself more open-minded and a heck of a lot more willing. I don't think anyone comes into the program ready for what they find there. And it can't be found in one day either. I found going to meetings every day was imperative to me staying sober. I was practically brain dead when AA found me. I found a new life in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. This I cherish today. I know the result of that first drink...insanity and endless pain.
Today my tolerance for pain is a little lower than what it used to be. When I start feeling like garbage an alarm starts ringing in my head....and that's when I ask for help. By no means am I perfect or anywhere's near it but I have hope today. For so long I lived in a dismal, dark world with no hope. I remember this very clearly. It's important for me to remember this because one day the insanity will be back and the drink won't seem so far away. I need to find ways to deal with problems without self-medicating. I often forget this is a 24-hour program.
I just read Bill's story. My new sponsor told me to. I remember very clearly the conversation on the phone when I talked to my new sponsor. He asked me a bunch of questions and then started giving orders. Immediately my brain starts to trigger off into the defense mode. Like for instance "I've read that damn story a million times." How willing is that? LOL. Oh well, I read the story for the millionth time. Guess what? I learned some new things. How long I retain them is another thing!! God help me.
I don't feel like being beaten into submission any longer. I think I'm going to try and practice the HOW of this program today and maybe get some insight at tonights meeting on it. I've got a topic already. That's a little weird. Okay, call it a backup topic!!
Thanks for that share,,, gave me a lot to think about. I'm glad your new sponsor is giving you AA literature to read, could be worse. And I'm glad you're willing, and being teachable. Please keep sharing with us.
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Hey Justin, Sounds like you may have found a good sponsor. Keep being open-minded, I'm like you don't like to be told to things, by others, but have learned who I do as told or ask I learn something that helps me.Have a great sober night.
