"Most of us have no trouble admitting that addiction had become a destructive force in our lives. Our best efforts resulted in ever greater destruction and despair. At some point, we realized that we needed the help of some Power greater than our addiction."Basic Text p. 24Most of us know without a doubt that our lives have been filled with destruction. Learning that we have a disease called addiction helps us understand the source or cause of this destruction. We can recognize addiction as a power that has worked devastation in our lives. When we take the First Step, we admit that the destructive force of addiction is bigger than we are. We are powerless over it.At this point, our only hope is to find some Power greater than the force of our addiction—a Power bent on preserving life, not ending it. We don't have to understand it or even name it; we only have to believe that there could be such a Higher Power. The belief that a benevolent Power greater than our addiction just might exist gives us enough hope to stay clean, a day at a time.Just for today: I believe in the possibility of some Power that's bigger than my addiction.
>>>>>>>>>>>>yeah my many addictions have messed up my life....i see one addiction where my mind wandering when i am doing something....usually fantasizing in my other happy life, and so i screw up THIS one by messing up on my current activity .......so the lesson????? SLOW down PAY attention......i know i have a power within me.....ALL of my answers lie WITHIN me............if something gives me a HIGH and a LOW and SHAME and is HABIT....its an addiction.....i guess i have a few of these things....all used to either cope with my sucky life. or to cope with overwhelming feelings or to mask feelings....either way, i am running away, avoiding something.........so the eating/ fantasizing/ drinking/ controlling/ .........
>>>>>>>>> this crap is bigger than me...i cannot break the fantasy, mind wandering when i do something, than i screw up, ...its like mind wandering to my happier life-----the HIGH..........i screw up what i am doing cuz my mind is away----the LOW.......i see the results of my actions and see myself unable to stop it.......the SHAME...thinking i am a f*** up..........it happends a lot------HABIT..........so what do i do????? step ONE....i am powerless.....step TWO....dig within and dig deep within for the answer to it.........step THREE....give over to it.....i am a part of the SOURCE.....a part of the SOURCE is within me....and it wants to preserve my life, not end it....so i can give over to it....release it unto the universe, as i work the steps 4, 9 to own up---clean up, what is making me do this?? what feelings am i avoiding?? running from??? too painful to work through yet??? find them--- feel them----- get PAST them...........and than grow up by helping others with their addictions................i think that God/ Jesus are CORPORATE----busy with satan and the darkness.........but there IS that part of the SOURCE (god/hp/allah/jehova/heshem, what ever its name is)......but there is a part of it IN SIDE OF ME......there HAS to be......so------REconnect with me???? REconnect with the source of all good things.......i am a good thing.....so the source has to be within me, next to my soul..........
