Pain transformed by the Twelve Steps is no longer pain transmitted.
When I came into the program I carried a lot of pain with me. There was the pain from living daily in an abusive alcoholic household, then the pain from an oppressive and emotionally abusive stepfather, and then years of self-inflicted drug and alcohol abuse. The pain I had was palpable, and every relationship I had felt the impact of my pain. I was passive aggressive at work, jealous and tyrannical in relationships, and towards myself I was self-destructive and resentful.
When I was introduced to the Twelve Steps, the Step I feared the most was Step Four. To me, doing a Fourth Step was like climbing down a ladder into a pit of pain and shame and fear that I was sure was going to swallow me up. I couldnt imagine that there was another side of that darkness, and it took months for me to complete that fearless and thorough inventory. Once through the Step Five, however, I began to see a new light in my life, and I began to sense the freedom I had heard others in the program talk about.
Through working the rest of the Steps, I was able to shine the light of a healing and loving Higher Power on the pain and secrets that fueled my character defects. As I made amends, my connection to others, to God, and to myself was restored. As the promises came true for me I realized that the Twelve Steps had transformed not only my pain, but my whole life. For the first time ever I was able to live comfortably in my own skin, and today what I have to transmit is experience, strength and hope.
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Copyright @ 2016 Michael Z
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'