Blame and Denial Blaming others for any set of consequences usually constitutes Denial.
Denial keeps all addicts in their addictions.
Defense Mechanisms Rationalizing - I don't drink/use every day, I don't have a problem. Minimizing - I don't drink/use half of what Sam drinks. Cockiness - I got it made, these other folks are losers. Justifying - If you had a wife/husband like mine, you would drink/use too. Projecting - You always manipulate to get what you want. Blaming - You drove me to drink/use. It is my job stress. Humor - This isn't serious. Life is a joke. Intellectualizing - Research shows I'm probably not an alcoholic/addict. Lying - I only had a couple of beers, maybe three. Manipulation - If you quit bitching, I'll quit drinking/using. Accusing - Your fooling around keeps me drinking/using. Threatening - Get off my back or you will be sorry! Judging - If you did this or that right, things wouldn't be so bad. Explaining - Oh, I drink/use because I . . . Analyzing - I started drinking more because of ____, it will slow down later. Arguing - I'm not an alcoholic, I've never gotten a DWI or . . . Defiance - I dare you to prove that I'm an alcoholic/addict. Withdrawing - If I don't do or say anything, they will leave me alone. Shouting - Leave me alone, I don't want to talk about it! Silence - Smiling - Just laugh it off. Nervous smile. Compliance - I just do and say what they want.
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Life is short..Live it sober to the fullest...One day at a time...
When I was in active use of alcohol and drugs these were all good reasons to go out and get messed up. I would put a week together of clean time and then find some reason, imagined or not, to go try it one more time. I could never quit on my own even with meetings. I had to be stopped, hospitalized, thrown in jail, in order to get some clean time behind me before I could get any help. I remember going to meetings and crying about how bad it was in active use. I had lost complete control. I was driving the car but it would go on autopilot and take me places where I had no business going.
I'm grateful to be able to think clearly today. No matter how screwy my thinkings is it's a heck of a lot better than when I was drinking.
