Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power.
This is the last paragraph from more about alcoholism. These words are permanently ingrained in my head. I don't have to take a drink today. Last nite I prayed which is something I was told to do. My human nature is to control situations and not ask for help. This kind of thinking will lead me back to alcohol which is a scary thought. I'm not scared of relapsing, I'm scared of living through another relapse. This insanity can stop if I choose to surrender. Alcohol has defeated me. GOD can deliver me through this wreckage and introduce me to a better, happier life. These are things I know to be true. As far as practicing all these suggestions, I'm doing the best that I know how and that has to be good enough. I'm where I'm at for a reason. If I was given the opportunity to look in the future and see what's in store for me I would turn it down. I have enough on my plate right now. I'm on sensory overload. LOL. I really believe that this program only works if I work it one day at a time.
" If I have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow chances are I'm pissing all over today "
Words of wisdom from someone with a sense of humor. It's good to be able to laugh today.
My favorite song used to be..."Oh Lord..its hard to be humble..When youre perfect in every way...
Used to sing it when I drank...mostly in the middle of the night ...on some main street of some unknown town..of which..I still have no idea how I got there...I used to play it with my guitar...but for some unknown reason..couldnt keep the words and the guitar chords in harmony..
Got locked up a lot...
ohhh wellll. such is life...
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Life is short..Live it sober to the fullest...One day at a time...
If you are feeling like "sensory over-load" that is, In my opinion, where the "EASY DOES IT!" part comes in. You have been SO Active in what you are doing and going thru. The Program, new environment, major life changes.
So i ditto, Amanda, "just do you Best, God does the rest" And doing your best also, I think includes at your very own pace.
Glad you are feeling better.
Toni
Just trust the Process, and it sounds like you do, so no worries. You said you were trying to do all the suggestions, but in my opinion too many suggestions can be baffling.
I try to follow all of the AA program suggestions too... 'it works if you work it',,, but I don't try to follow all of the suggestions of people outside of AA who make suggestions on how to have a happy life and stuff... alll of these people, sources and philosophies can be confusing, and some contradict others,, and I don't try to follow the suggestions of all the people inside of AA either, as those are all just personal opinions. The AA Steps , slogans, Traditions and principles are a package. I can't,,, well, I can,, decide that I am into Step 1, but not Step 2, and I'll try Step 5 and talk to somebody, but not a whole Step 4,,, cuz we don't end up with the same results, no fulfilled promises for doing part of the program. But, well,,, these are aonly suggestions too,,, like the suggestion that we brush your teeth twice a day, and the suggestion that we get enough protein in our diet. We do have a choice, but it is better if we follow certain wise suggestions. Now , if one sourse says to vent your anger in full expression as catharsis, and the AA source says anger is a poison that we cannot indulge in at all... whatcha gonna do? Take what you need and leave the rest.
may the Supreme Being bless you,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
