There is an obvious connection between depression & self-esteem. The more depression we experience, the more difficulty we usually have in retaining a positive sense of self. Depression is flattening. It could actually be called a spiritual steamroller.
Many excellent books have been written on the causes & cures of depression in all of its many faces & degrees. In spite of their various approaches, all of them agree that courage is necessary in dealing with depression. It takes toughness to win. When all the strategizing is done, all the information gained, what is left is simply the call for stamina & grit. Even when “going on” is the last thing in the world we may want or feel able to do.
It takes enormous courage to make a simple affirmation when we feel the world is coming down around our ears. To get out to a meeting when all we want to do is sleep or cry is sheer bravery & nothing else. To reach out when all we want to do is isolate may take the heroism of a medal-of-honor winner.
When all is said & done, toughness may be my best weapon.
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Life is short..Live it sober to the fullest...One day at a time...
It reminded of something A Family Counselor said to me and my husband when we were attempting to merge children from two families together.
This kind of Parenting is not for the "faint-hearted" and I believe that that can be applied to Recovery from Alcoholism as well.
We must develop and maintain a "stout- hearted" approach to Recovery. Life does and will turn us up and down, and then sometimes Inside Out. Hold on to what we have learned in these rooms, acknowledge the work that has been done, and must continue on a daily basis, and more than Acknowledge that we have a Living, Active Relationship with a Higher power, that I choose to call God.
I have watched you walk through this very stressful time in your life, and have never seen your attitude waiver. Attitude is everything, and you have that. Even now with going thru the let-down portion of this Treatment that was I am sure extremely difficult to bear, you did just that, you did bear it and keep looking for that light at the end of this. (And NO it is not a Freight Train headed your way), just thought I would reassure you about that. And wish you, my Stout Heart friend, a very speedy Recovery. Semanics again, you call it toughness, I call it Stout Heartedness. Amen to either one.
God Bless you.
Toni, Gotta keep smiling and laughing just as much as we can, love that part of that song. "Don't take it serious, it's too mysterious". Hugs
My mom used to tell me, tried to teach me, to be always strong and tough, so I could handle whatever came my way. My dad was tough, was abused as a child, went through WWII, was a cop after that Whenever I buckled in life, my mom would remind me to be tough. She wasn't. But she said that was why she wanted me to be,, because she wasn't she thought it would be better if I was.
I tried. I really tried and tried, to bear it all, to grit my teeth and do it all. but I couldn't. There I was at the end of my rope,, in that institution. Icharus crashed to the ground. My strength given out. My parents didn't help me, my siblings didn't help me. I was supposed to be tough enough to help myself, and if I wasn't,,, well,, that's my consequences.
but then came the miracle,,, Steps 2 and 3,,, learning that there was a mercifully Loving God who cared about me,,, and when I could not reach Him,,, He stooped down. He came down to me,, thru the AA program, and I turned my life and my will, as much as I could over to His care. And God does for me ,,, what I can't do for myself.
I'm so grateful today. Thank you, God. Thank you , AA. Now I can be weak, flawed, human, myself,,,, and the world will not crash down around me without God bringing me through it. Where as some people are like sharks, who, smelling the scent of blood from a wound, go in to attack and kill the wounded one,,,, God is a healer.
I meditated on the post I put up earlier. God wants to restore me to sanity. I can't, He can, I'll let Him.
love in recovery,
amanda
-- Edited by amanda2u2 at 12:57, 2006-03-13
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
i am getting lost in the semantics here. I do not believe, left to my own devices that I could ever maintain anything like stout-heartedness.
It is in direct proportion to my Surrender to His Will. Out of Ego, into Spirit, that is the transformation for me. Tough, well that does sound like an Ego word, especially if it was taugh, that you would be in charge of it, the Toughness.
We surrender to Win in this Program, and it is with all of our vulnerablities that we come to an understanding of what a Living Relationship with God, can do. I definently can't, But He Can, and I Let Him. It is by Faith alone that I can feel strength to carry on in my life. Who am I, without Him? A Drunk. But with Him, I am in Recovery for a Deadly disease, and must stay in that Loving, Living Relationship, he does GIVE me the Strength to go on.
I do believe without that Relationship with Him, I would perish.
I wasn't cross-talking you. I was just sharing my own experience, strength and hope. Yours is valid for you,,, and mine is valid for me. No problem. There is not one way of thinking or being only. We don't have to be mirror images of each other.
We all have a slightly different understanding of God and our relationship with our Higher Power. Whether it is that God gives me strength to carry on, as in Step 11 - "power to carry that out",,, or whether I refer to it as God's strength bringing me through, really is to kind of split the hair semantically.
Take what you need and leave the rest.
Peace
love in recovery,
amanda
-- Edited by amanda2u2 at 13:45, 2006-03-13
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
I was not suggested anything like that dear. When I said I was getting confused with the Semantics, I was referring to my own head getting confused with the Semantics. I can get and do get confused quite often. Nothing, Promise to do with what you wrote, I alway honor whatever you have to say, as simply what you have to say. Truth.
I was making the distinction or self correcting these thoughts in my own head.
A Big Hug, YOUR FRIEND, Toni
I never judge anything, anyone ever has to say here on MIP. It is a very personal committment. Sorry if you took any other way Dear. I alway Respect all and anything you ever have to say.
Somtimes there isn't any 'right' or 'wrong' to something. We each have slightly different perspectives. Phil shared his, you shared yours and I shared mine. That is the way AA works, innit? The next person to post might not see it any of the ways we see it,, and might have a still different take on it. Vive la difference.
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
And Amen to what you said, this world would a rather dull place if we all saw things the same way. It was like something I said a few days ago, if you took 100 Alcoholics and they were walking up a beautiful mountain road, the scenery would be the same, but we would all see it differently.
There is something in the Christian scriptures that says (paraphrasing here) " I will never give you more than you can handle", so that tells me that whatever comes our way, we are given the choices of wrapping ourselves around the pain or discomfort we are experiencing, or reaching out and letting go. Either way, if you are given something to deal with, God is promising you that you can deal with it somehow.
A close friend gave me the dickens a few years ago about "when are you going to reach out for help instead of always dealing with things yourself. We are here for you, you know". Of course I knew. A little bit (?) of false pride keeps me from sharing some things. Often I feel that I am totally capable of handling junk thrown at me without help from any one. But I have learned that although I can handle most things, I can certainly lessen the weight of them by sharing them with others, be it meetings, to my sponsor, etc. But yes, before I ask others to share my weight with me, I do turn to my Higher Power first. I need that immediate support on issues; calling on the spirituality I hold within myself, that which I draw strength from. Sometimes pain hits faster than my hand can reach that phone, or hours before there was an available meeting. My spirituality is un-orthodox by others' standards, and that's okay. I need to touch the Divine that I believe in to discern my lessons, to understand what is hurting me exactly, and to set aside the "whys" for the moment. I do isolate often from people, but I never isolate from my HP, because they are right there walking my walk with me. There's no hiding from what I feel is within me. And I can trust in my HP to rip away the screens I may set up. But like everyone elses' HP, I can trust that it will make certain that I hear what I need to hear from others that think like I do, that have my disease. Reaching out is one of many aspects I have available to me to stay sober, talking about it is another. Going on an isolation streak, leaning on my HP for understanding is another. Yeah, we all have different things that help us get through another day, or another hour, sometimes just for that one moment that it feels like life is spinning out of control. And that's when I feel "tough enough", is when I utilize the gifts that my HP has given me thru the program, thru the members, thru the meetings and steps. You just never ever know where the "gift" is gonna come from. It could be one sentence uttered at a meeting from someone who has no idea what's going on with you, or a post here in the forum. Or even a certain poem you find in your devotional that opens up a whole new vision of what's going on with you. Ok, so maybe I'm not so tough, maybe it's that I trust that I have strength given to me by my HP, and that's close enough for me, as long as it works. blessings Wren
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Funny, isn't it, how friends and a Power greater than ourselves can neutralize nightmares?
Toni, Gotta keep smiling and laughing just as much as we can, love that part of that song. "Don't take it serious, it's too mysterious". Hugs
My dad was tough, was abused as a child, went through WWII, was a cop after that 
I never judge anything, anyone ever has to say here on MIP. It is a very personal committment. Sorry if you took any other way Dear. I alway Respect all and anything you ever have to say.