Some of us said taht we didn't know if we were 'addicts' or not when we came into the fellowship. We knew we were unhappy and that we drank and used drugs too much. But we hadn't resolved whether we were unhappy because we used chemicals too much, or used chemicals too much because we were unhappy.
It was suggested to us that we try changing the pattern by not using drugs and working the twelve Steps to see if our lives didn't change. They did! We have come to believe that there is no problem that taking a drink, fix or pill will not make worse. Am I convinced taht abstinence is the only way?
Lord, help me carry the message that if we simply don't take a drink, pill or fix, our lives will change for the better.
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Lord, help me carry the message that if we simply don't take a drink, pill or fix, our lives will change for the better.
Carrying the message. This is a big one for me, and a responsibility I owe to others. Yes, I've stayed sober. Yes, sobriety has made a change in my life for the better. But I get so caught up in dancing the day, that at the end of the day if someone were to ask me " How do you stay sober?" more often than not, my only answer would be "because today I didn't take that first drink". I don't have deep words of wisdom. I've never been able to sit down and write out "this is how I stay sober each day". I just do. I did what I was told in the beginning--get a sponsor, go to meetings, work the steps, carry the message". And so often, I'm not even sure what my message is. I've heard people that are old timers, and new in AA say such profound things, such deep thoughts. And I go "ah, yes!". But I've never discovered what my distinct, personal message would be. For me, it's always been about just sharing how I stayed sober today. Listening to the newcomer and knowing gratitude that if I don't take a drink, I won't have to go thru what theyre going thru. For me it's so much about listening to the message of others, and I often feel I have so little to offer back. My life was out of control, I couldnt stop drinking, I was ruining my life and the lives of those around me, and I was sick of it all. So, I don't drink. And if I don't drink, I don't lose husbands and children. I don't lose days at a time. I don't vomit blood, I don't have cirrhosis any longer, I am not yellow. Does anyone else feel this inadequecy when trying to help the new comer? Saying the right thing? Wren
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Funny, isn't it, how friends and a Power greater than ourselves can neutralize nightmares?
Lord, help me carry the message that if we simply don't take a drink, pill or fix, our lives will change for the better. "
>>>>>>>oh yeah, and add to that eating too much (to comfort) , needing to be in control of the outcome, and fantasizing too much to that....yes, LORD help me abstain, and working the steps and "god work" i can do it on a DAY to DAY basis...........thanks, rosie
Wow, that was put beautifully, Dont know exactly what to say, I think because it is a Heart thing we are conveying. i know when I am speaking to a person, face to face, that I just want to listen, and make sure they know how welcome they are. But on the Board, I get real wordy sometimes, I think because of what you mentioned, suggest meetings, getting a sponsor, but all the while trying inside to say, Dear God, Please help this person just not pick up a drink, especially when they are drinking, i just kind of stumble along, offering my hand, trying to convey the message in the Prayer, that they can find a way to put the "plug in the jug" so to speak. My own feeling is they would not be here, if they were not struggling with the problem.
Your Response here made me do some thinking about how I approach a new person, maybe less words would help. Maybe i am trying to hard, with the knowledge that it is an "inside job" really. oh well, I not going to start judging and criticizing myself here, that would old familiar stuff, and pretty boring.
But we try to figure out, and stubble along with the words, as long as the person knows or feels you are coming from your heart, I dont think anything else matters, beyond telling them they will get better when then can reach a point of not picking up a drink. Thats what we do, every 24 hours, and then again, the next 24 hours, God willing.
See what I mean, it just takes a lot of words for me to say what I am trying to say! Can't help it, but I am willing to learn. i am teachable, Thank You, God.
hugs, toni
I think this Post, and the Responses, have given me a new little learning lesson for this week, study and study the 12th Step, in the 12 x12. We read it all the time in meetings, but maybe reading it in private, some more will be revealed. Something new comes out of every repeat reading I do, whether it is the 12 x 12, or the Big Book.
I tried for a long time last year to find some people to study the 10th - 12th Steps with.. funny that what I found was that many people never got past the 3rd Step,,, and thought the 10th would be like the 4th, so even if they did 4 - 9 they stopped there. The 12th Step chapter of the 12 X 12 has sooo much good stuff in it.. about practicing the principles in one's marriage, and lots of stuff.
wren,,, I think I don't see you like you see yourself. I see you as sharing a lot of wisdom through your experience, strength and hope. I like that expression, "dancing the day".
The 12th Step is a big challenge.. that is the one I am currently working on. And I keep falling short and having to go back and cycle through them all again. The message is not 'I have been sober and now I can tell you how to do it',,, I put up a post once... nobody answered that I remember.. unless they answered later and I didn't see it.
What is the message? and what are the principles we are supposed to be practicing?
It is not in telling someone else how to run their lives. Maybe I'll post that up again.
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
