Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him. --Step Three of Al Anon
Surrendering to a Power greater than ourselves is how we become empowered.We become empowered in a new, better, more effective way than we believed possible.Doors open. Windows open. Possibilities occur. Our energy becomes channeled, at last, in areas and ways that work for us. We become in tune with the Plan for our life and our place in the Universe.And there is a Plan and Place for us. We shall see that. We shall know that. The Universe will open up and make a special place for us, with all that we need provided.It will be good. Understand that it is good, now.Learning to own our power will come, if we are open to it. We do not need to stop at powerlessness and helplessness. That is a temporary place where we re evaluate where we have been trying to have power when we have none.Once we surrender, it is time to become empowered.Let the power come, naturally. It is there. It is ours.Today, I will be open to understanding what it means to own my power. I will accept powerlessness where I have no power; I will also accept the power that is mine to receive.
>>>>>>rosie>>>>>>for me, surrender meant "same ole loss of me" in the "old days" in the horrible place where i grew up with a serial child predator father, and a hopeless drunk for a mother, evil and abuse ran amok.....the place was infested with demons as an unkept tenement house would be with cockroaches.......i was drowning in spiritual filth...becuz i was one of the "light spirits" it nearly killed me
so to me?? surrender meant having to let my father violate my body with my having NO say over my own flesh or mind or emotions even.......i had to shut down...disassociate....the result??? complete loss of self....total disconnection from the "spirit" of me and from my God as well........everything was taken from me.......
when i came here and heard the word "surrender" it triggered me MAJORALLY.........if my "earthly gods" could so dispicably betray/wound/ me , HOW was i to trust in a God i could NOT see????? so to me , surrender meant, **another loss of self** same loss, diferent God.....it was still a loss to me.....
THAN, as recovery crept up me like a beautiful subtle vine, i realized the TRUTH!!!! THIS God, the Creator, the SOURCE of all things good was offering me FREEDOM.......freedom from wrestling with karma i had no business/ power over.......offering me the option to RELEASE me from the negative energy and let the spiritual forces of the universe take over......it offered me PEACE!!!! a PLACE to take my "burdens"....... by accepting my defeat..i got the victory
NOW?? surrender has this simple meaning to me----- i "show up for duty--- do the 'grunt work'---do ALL i can" THEN i give over the OUTCOME to God......that is my perception of "surrender" ahhh sweet surrender.....my deliverence from having to "fight and resist"
my fierce will kept me alive during my days of horror and depravity.....now that fierce will, though ok, began to be a liability becuz i couldn't "give over" things over which i had no control...i just couldn't...and when i did let go....the situation had my claw marks all over it, AND handles i had built to "grab the problem back" when god was not "moving fast enough"......this behaviour is giving way to .....doing all i can......LETTING GO the rest.....letting the universe take care of it............
its kinda funny and with my sarcastic sense of humour...when a negative situation hits me, and i even think it is "psychic attack" from dark forces?? i taunt them....i do what i can do w/ the problem, than i taunt them and say "ok, scumbags, NOW U gotta fight the BIG guy....ha ha ha ha i am OUTTA here"........and immediately the "energy" lightens up...its like i can "feel them flee".......LOVE it!!!! yes, SWEET surrender!!! i am getting to like it.......peace/ rosie
Rosie, I have been going through very similar experiences, reactions and then defensive patterns... very resistant to 'surrender' to someone or something that I think will hurt me. I'm no masochist. And the expereince of being small and not being able to stand up... having to surrender and be hurt. So, like an earthly military surrender,, it meant to me to give up any resistants to real enemies and get hurt, and lose self and dignity and rights.
And then the surprise,, surrender to the real Living and loving God is not like that! To surrender to God is to let Him love me, let Him guide me in his wisest way. It doesn't hurt! It heals, and frees! It still constantly amazes me.
And then,, I find,, beyond surrender. Beyond the surrender that means I stop fighting... I started really agreeing,, wanting God to guide me,,, grateful for the things he has done while I have refrained from fighting, and now... it is more like a partnership, a mentorship,, a real discipleship. I want him to be my God, my guide,,, it is mutual.
It's kind of like newly weds... at first the bride submits to the man, surrendering to his advances and moves,,, then as she gets into it she finds herself really getting turned on by what he is doing,,, and then,,, she is so enthusiastic that she just cries, "More! Yes! Don't stop! " Maybe I'm not quite into ecstacy all the time,,, but I do have peak experiences.
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
