I'm new here. I new to this. I'm new to admitting that I have a problem. I'm not ready to join a group and see people face to face. I'm 42 year old female. I have three grown children ages, 25.23 and 19. I grew up in a home and a family that had major issues with alcohol. I never thought I'd be one of them. Now, I'm here. It's been almost 3 years since I've gone a day without alcohol. I want to stop, but I don't even know where to begin. Today, I've drank at least a 12 pack of beer and I'm almost out. I feel helpless, lost and tired. I'm not sure how to make this stop. Any advice that you can give me would be greatly appreciated. I am in desperate need of someone with some knowledge and experience. I have been functioning in this world, but I'm tired of hiding. I have a job. I am creative. I am a good person. I have dreams for the future. Thank you in advance for your time.
-- Edited by NeverThoughtIWouldBe Here on Tuesday 20th of October 2015 07:14:56 PM
-- Edited by NeverThoughtIWouldBe Here on Tuesday 20th of October 2015 08:24:51 PM
Hey - welcome. I am also a female and a mom, and I have been there. I drank 24/7 in the end, even woke up in the middle of the night to drink sometimes.
I hope you are able to come back here in the morning, and if you need medical help detoxing, please get it. I tapered off on my own, but it can be dangerous.
I was sure I would die drunk when I first made a post on this message board. I got the courage to go to a meeting because people here supported me through that. It was so scary, and it is for all of us. Looking back, I wish I'd done it much sooner - but I kept looking at my perfect looking life, my beautiful home and family and friends and brand new care - and would convince myself that I wasn't 'one of those drunks under the bridge'.
Truly, I was close to losing EVERYTHING. It was coming. More importantly, I was going to lose my life.
Keep posting every day if you can, and get to a meeting asap. You can do it. Millions of others have been where you are today and found the courage to get help too. You are not alone in this. We've heard it and seen it all. You're not the worst person ever. You are suffering and you didn't ask to be any more than someone with cancer.
XhugsX
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Welcome, and congrats on taking that step of admitting the truth and asking for help. I know you said you are not ready to join a group and see people face to face, but you're asking for advice, and all we can do is speak from our own experience, and my experience with my own alcoholism was that nothing changed and I couldn't stop drinking and stay sober until I started going to lots of AA meetings. Then EVERYTHING changed, I've been completely sober for a long time now, I feel great about being sober, and my life has completely turned around.
Do you know anything about AA? If you are not familiar with AA, you might want to check out the "Big Book" of Alcoholics Anonymous, which you can either get in a hard copy or download on line (and of course you can pick up a copy at most AA meetings). But I encourage you to just take a deep breath and get yourself to a meeting as soon as possible. If you want any help locating meetings near you, we can show yo how to do that.
I can totally relate to your screen name. NeverThoughtIWouldBeHere. (We have to give you a nickname...that's too hard for me to type...haha). I never thought, in a million years, (I feel that old sometimes), that I would be here, either. But I also thought, in a million years, that I couldnt be happy, or get by in this world, without alcohol. But Ya know what? I'm 48 years old, a little older than you are, Ive been off the alcohol for over a year...and I feel better than I ever have in my whole entire life.
Alcohol was causing me despair, and anxiety toward the end. It wasn't fun anymore. It didn't make me feel good anymore. Sick and tired of being sick and tired. So, I decided to get some help to quit. I didn't have $30,000 for some rehab treatment center, so, I went to an AA meeting. It was totally free.
I was a little nervous (ok...very nervous) the first time I went. But you know what? It's just a bunch of people, like you and me, who were sick and tired of being sick and tired. Every one of us has been where you are, so, when you go to your first meeting, don't be too nervous. Nobody is gonna look at you funny (unless you wear a clown outfit). All the people there know exactly how you feel. Your not gonna find that at a rehab facility, because most of those counsellors aren't alcoholics, so they don't really know what it's like. We know. It sucks.
You don't have to get up and talk at the meeting, or sign any papers, or even tell anybody who you are at the meeting, if you don't want to. You should just go there, and listen. Maybe it will help get you all fixed up. It sure couldn't hurt anything.
Tomorrow, try your best not to drink. But, if you start getting shakey or anything like that, you might need to have a beer or 2 just to calm down, and not go into serious withdrawl. If you do, try only to have a couple. I know it sounds hard, but try your best not to get drunk. If you try to quit cold turkey, like, all of a sudden just stop, and you start shaking and start getting delusional, then you need to go to a doctor to get some medication to come down off the alcohol. Withdrawl from alcohol is very serious, more serious than withdrawl from hard drugs like heroin. I'm not trying to scare you, I'm just trying to make you aware that if you are a real heavy drinker, (and it sounds like you could be), and you want to quit, you might need to take some medication for a couple of days so you don't go into DTs. (Delirium Tremens).
Most of us like to stay new here so that we don't get to believe we know it all. Welcome to the board Hilka sound like you're one of us. I didn't want to be in AA myself. I didn't like what I heard and how it was said and most of the people who were saying it. I stopped drinking and after 9 years alcohol free found myself sitting in the back of a Alano Club meeting room trying not to "come out". I had done my assessment that afternoon at the rehab I worked for and was told that if I drank again the next drink I had would be my last. I was "white knuckling" my sobriety and still getting closer to that next drink where my last one nearly killed me. Both sides of my family are alcoholic and addict and I didn't know what that meant and didn't know that I didn't know it. I drank...because I could and there were no limits or real special drinks on the menu for me. When I stopped drinking my skin color was urine yellow and wouldn't clear up until I was dry 5 years thru. You need a higher education to understand that which is what I also did...went to college to understand...and I did. Alcohol is a mind and mood altering chemical and has been that for thousands of years before the birth of the Christ. Who am I kidding that I could drink with impunity...it had me fooled once my mind was altered.
If you have a power greater than yourself in your life get the tools of AA and turn your life over to that Higher Power. Keep posting here and find the face to face AA meetings in your area and go as quickly as you can. Come back here and let us know how you're doing ask for info. (((((Hugs)))))
Welcome to MIP Hilka, ... We're glad you found us ...
I just want to echo what everyone else is saying ... No, never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I(ME) would find myself losing control of my drink'n ... I lied to myself for years saying "I'm not THAT bad" ... then I woke up one day and realized I had alcohol 'hidden' all over the house and that I was 'sneaking' drinks all the time, hiding it from my wife and friends ... it started affecting my work ... I lost several good jobs ... then became unable to hold down a job at all ... then was fast approaching "losing it all" ... I decided, like you, I NEED HELP ... I can't do this alone ...
I plead with you to listen to those of us here that have been through what you're facing now ... if you're serious 'bout getting clean, then you are ready to take certain steps ... and WE are here to help you do what we did to get and stay sober ... it's not the end of the world, it's the beginning of a new life you never knew was possible ... I pray you let your defenses down and go to an AA meeting ASAP where you'll find people just like you, that said enough's enough ...
Alcoholism IS LETHAL ... IT WILL KILL YOU ... I was near death before I stopped drink'n ... and if I can do it, and other drunks here can do it, then YOU CAN DO IT ...
Love you and God Bless you for being here, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Hi. Me too. I joined this board tonight. Hope it helps both of us. You got some reply's already. That is support. Understanding I guess. Good luck. Wish me luck!
