I am reading on here bout some peoples stuff.. about losing their babies etc.. Soo horrible.. I am on here.. cos i need to stop drinking.. I stoped last week for 7 nights!!.. but since sunday i have been drinking agian..inc tonight.. ffs
I have phoned AA this week and spoke to a couple of people.. . I do think im gona go to a meeting at some point.. if i can grow the balls to do so.. I am not likely to go this week because of other commitments..
I feel like a fraud because some people on here have been/are going through some really bad stuff.. like loss of loved ones. etc.. i am not.. ,, i just drink too much.. my life is a mess. i feel like a mess... But these other people have real reasons to drink.. to forget/deal with the really horrible things they are going through..
These people have a decent reason to need to drink.. i dont..but i do anyway....
Makes me feel like such a pathetic sap.. wimp.. .. i can hear a forreign voice inside my head shoutin "ffs pull youself to together, stop being so pathetic.. just dont drink, if you need to stop drinking then just do it"... I am drinking as i type this..
FFS
My heart goes out to people with real problems.. Who have lost their children etc.. OMG i cant even compare.. I really hope you guys, if you are reading, find happiness and acceptance.... And that it all works out for you..
Hey Rob bud....I can find lots of excuses to drink...but Im powerless over Alcohol...so I cant do it...
When we drink...we might go through a lot of different stuff...but we all lived in our separate hells...individually...
Living sober..is learning how to live life on lifes terms without booze...
Some of us go through a lot of shit sober...and put ourselves through a lot of shit sober...
But the support we get from others..and the support we give to others...helps us all .....and in doing so..we do not hafta pick up that first drink..thatll send us right back to the hells ..that we came from..
The people in AA share their experience..strength and hope with each other...
You are a part of US our freind...and you neednt be alone...in your own hell any more..
Your choice..your call
You reach out half way...AA will reach back...with love..hope..and understanding..
-- Edited by Phil at 16:02, 2006-03-02
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Life is short..Live it sober to the fullest...One day at a time...
hey, Rob.. the only reason any of us here drink is because we are alcoholics. We have lots of reasons why we drink.. some seem to be pretty good reasons, only drinking makes these horrible situations worse instead of better,,, and seem to be not so good reasons,, like that I want to celebrate, or I just want to, or whatever.
What fraud? There you are,,, drinking because you are an alcoholic? right? That is the only criteria for membership... the desire to stop drinking.
It looks like you might be getting through the first Step... Step 1 - We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Each person's 'bottom' is different, and each person has their own strengths , weakness, problems, and assets. Some people go to jail, get physically ruined from alcohol, are on the brink a lot for various reasons. But it is actually better to avoid the ultimate bottom, death, and just stop whereever we are and get the help we need. It's okay to need help,,, even if it is simply that we find ourselves powerless over alcohol and our lives are unmanageable. It is said that our bottom is where ever we stop digging.
hey,,, if you're finished beating yourself up now,,, you can start recovery. Get yourself to a meeting without waiting till you grow enough balls,,,, I don't have any balls and I go. hehe
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
After 10+ years of drinking over stuff, in and out of AA, I had a "lightbulb" experience.
I drank ONLY because I am an Alcoholic. Some of us take longer than others, It took me almost to the end of the line. I admit, I did not "get that" for all those years, I had cotton stuffed in my ears, and couldn't figure out why I could not hear, when I was one that had stuffed the cotton in before every meeting.
They it takes what it takes to get and stay here,
Walking thru the fear of going to a meeting, well as Phil said once, it beats dying.
Glad you are here back on the board, and will say a Prayer that you will walk through the doors of AA, I give you a personal promise, that when the meeting over, the fear will also be over, that a guarantee.
As stated above, sounds like you are in the middle of the 1st Step. Looking at your own Powerlessness over Alcohol. That alone is a MIRACLE. And I have a lot of faith that is will not be long before you have continueous Sobriety.
All my love to you my friend,
And a big Hug to you, we are all right here with you as you go through this struggle to get in out of the cold, and here with us in Recovery.
God Bless,
Toni
i have given you a lot of my background in PMs, and do have to say that if a drunk of my Variety can become an Active Member of AA, then I believe you can do this too.
I drank at everything. Good, bad, indifferent. I drank because I'm an alcoholic.
I hope you will stop hiding behind excuses and get your ass to a meeting...If you desire to stop drinking....
Here's HOW IT WORKS:
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average.
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps.
At some of these we balked. thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.
Remember that we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power that One is God. May you find Him now!
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. we asked His protection and care with complete abandon.
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
first post i have replied to and not sure wat to say but just wanted u to know that in the past (and i pray it will forever be in the past) that i would have found any excuse to drink something like what happened last nite made even more a desire to drink, i hope you can give up the bottle soon
pain is pain... i mean like we are not in a contest to C who got screwed the worst.....what is devestating for one, may not be as bad for another and so on
the fact is, we are here cuz we are powerless over some SERIOUS stuff that is fatal if we don't stop--- it doesn't matter WHAT R stories R.....we have issues to work through, and we are in recovery!!!!!
i used to compare me with others, but no more!!! pain is pain-- addiction is addiction.....it comes in ALL colors and it all hurts....
U keep hanging in here and talking, we do care ok??? rosie
Alcoholism is a chemical addiction that I couldn't fix by myself no matter how hard I tried. And believe me, I tried. AA can put this progressive and fatal illness into remission so that we can return to happy lives. AA works.
You're certainly not a fraud. The worst things that have happened to me in my life happened after I had put down the drink. I had been lucky enough to have gained some knowledge of how to handle life (the Twelve Steps - God- for me) and that helped.
You sound like you believe you may be an alcoholic. If so, that's what we do. We drink. The reasons I drank?
The sun came up: I drank.
The sun went down: I drank.
I had a good day: I drank.
I had a bad day: I drank.
Today I don't - that's my higher Power and AA. Try a meeting. Evemn if you're drunk. That's how I went to my first meeting. I never drank again. Life is good. Mike in Boston
Thats the elevator, Going UP?????