"[The] Power that brought us to this program is still with us and will continue to guide us if we allow it."Basic Text, p. 26Ever had a panic attack? Everywhere we turn, life's demands overwhelm us. We're paralyzed, and we don't know what to do about it. How do we break an anxiety attack?First, we stop. We can't deal with everything at once, so we stop for a moment to let things settle. Then we take a "spot inventory" of the things that are bothering us. We examine each item, asking ourselves this question: "How important is it, really?" In most cases, we'll find that most of our fears and concerns don't need our immediate attention. We can put those aside, and focus on the issues that really need to be resolved right away. Then we stop again and ask ourselves, "Who's in control here, anyway?" This helps remind us that our Higher Power is in control.
_________rosie____it seems everwhere i turn this past few weeks, life is hurling shit at me.....i feel like i am under attack...i am shellshocked...the only thing i can think to do is FERVENT prayer....THROWING the blood of jesus at the demons....yes, i know life can be just life, but i also know that when it is constant, and there is no lesson in it really and i KNOW i am "showing up and working my program---open to my HP" than it is demonic attack.....there IS evil here..there are demons roaming , looking for souls to beat down....and they will if i try to fight them on my own power....this is where the first 3 steps come in to play...i may be powerless but my hp is not...so i am offering myself and my possessions up to my god for protection, as i do what i can to be careful, and watch and pay attention to the traps.........
_______rosie______.yes STOP....let things settle.....this am, WAS important........i had a horrific scare....another bullshit event over which i felt totally helpless...totally out of control....... my beautiful lab female had fallen off the couch somehow in the EARLY am hours...i heard this "crashing sound" and jumped out of bed, ran to the living room and there she was under the coffee table, and she was not able to get up/ just kind of thrashed around....i was SURE she had broken her back....i felt myself almost go out of my body, like i did during the abuse...like i was shutting down, couldn't take this "head on"........i felt myself going into "denial" becuz it was too horrific for me to "process" right at that point...but i guess the program training kinda "kicked in" anyway becuz i DID SOMETHING!!! i took action....... i just held her and rubbed her and calmed her down,....i "STOPPED" the action on her part and on my own, to let things "settle"....than as i rubbed her and talked with her, she got up!!! she was a bit unsteady on her feet but she got up...i let her outside for a minute and she walked around, and seemed to gain her footing with each passing few minutes....i watched her for about 3 hours, she was able to have her "biscuit" and i gave her her heartworm chew tab and she was seemingly ok.......this WAS important.....and it DID need my immediate attention, but i was able to just STOP things to calm her and me down...... this issue needed my attention right away...... i immediately thanked god for allowing her to be able to get up and be ok..........
We seek our Higher Power's will for the situation, whatever it is. We can do this in any number of ways: through prayer, talks with our sponsor or NA friends, or by attending a meeting and asking others to share their experience. When our Higher Power's will becomes clear to us, we pray for the ability to carry it out. Finally, we take action.Anxiety attacks need not paralyze us. We can utilize the resources of the NA program to deal with anything that comes our way.Just for today: My Higher Power has not brought me all this way in recovery only to abandon me! When anxiety strikes, I will take specific steps to seek God's continuing care and guidance.
_______rosie______i think for a minute i was afraid of my HP's will, becuz i have had so much tragedy in my life..i still associate the tragedies with being god's will....like his will is the enemy and that is maybe why i fight and resist so much....becuz i have this illusion of thinking i can control the outcome if i fight hard enough......this am , however, i was "readying" my mind to "give her up" to call the animal shelter to come pick her up and put her down becuz i was sure she broken her back.....i was kinda "releasing her" in my mind....but i know i was in shock....the surprising thing is that i did not "rage" i took action....i STOPPED her from trying to thrash around, and i just kinda held her down....STOPPING the action, so i could just rub her and see what / how bad she was.......i know, i am really beginning to know that god does NOT visit tragedy/ pain/ suffering on us--- the old "testing" i don't believe that my hp "tests me" i think either its just life , or the forces of darkness trying to derail me from my focus on my hp and recovery......either way, the old "why did u hurt my dog??" mentality begain to kick in , and than i dismissed that....i needed to calm my dog....not go after god for yet another "wonderful event"......when it was over, i was amazed, that i did NOT rage/ scream at god/ rage at my "karma" / i just took care of business!!! like screw the raging/ screaming at god......take ACTION....even if it was to "give her over" ...i am seeing that god is NOT the one who made my life a living hell, it was first my perp, and than the horrible mental/emotional effects of his evil, that caused me to STAY in the darkness....
_______rosie____ i am seeing that god is the ONLY way i am going to get THROUGH this.......like lately i have felt like i am "under attack" just one thing after another....not serious stuff...not real dangerous stuff , UNTIL this morning...and even then, she eneded up shaken but OK....but u know what i mean---- one thing after another....like i am "dodging bullets" one after another....so i decided to pray more.....give my life over more...... begin AND end my day with prayer/ meditation, and really align, ATTACH myself to my higher power........i think i did good this morning, instead of raging/ out of control screaming---anger, i STOPPED and accessed and took action the best i could AS i prepared myself to perhaps "giving her up"......the thought of that makes me physicaly ill....i love my dogs..they are my "kids"........this morning i prayed the blood of jesus over them, and i asked god, what did he/she/it need me to do..what prayer did the source need to hear to break UP these attacks on me....i prayed for guidence and protection......it was a scary morning...i am still in shock over it.....my beautiful black lab, lying under the coffee table, not being able to get up, and eyes wide in panic, and here i am trying to comfort her and calm her down so i could see "how bad it was" ...i left for work, about 3 hours after the accident adn she seemed ok for me to leave.....i am a bit apprehensive, i mean i will feel REALLY reassured when i get home tonight and she is still ok.......i know, i am working to surrender the outcome to god, but i gotta be honest...i am still real worried about her.....i didn't feel "bad" about leaving for work, so perhaps that is my inner hp, saying "its gonna be ok".......its just 3 years ago i had another beautiful black lab have an accident and her little neck was busted.....she got progressivly worse and $600 later, the vet tells me they can't do any more for her...so $600 and a dead dog on top of it.........i guess that old memory still lingers in my head.......that was the summer i lost her to the accident and 2 puppies to parvo, one month apart from each other.......talk about being under attack.....i finally had to just go outside and cry and throw up my hands and say "i can't take it anymore----i give up" and i cried for hours......the crap finally stopped after i had lost 3 of my "kids"....it was god awful!!! so i am going to be forgiving of myself over my fear for this one......i prayed over "cory" too, and she STILL ended up dying after much suffering.........so today?? i am praying that my karma is better and my life will be with more peace and less hell becuz i am WILLING and i am TRYING and i am in recovery and i am being as honest and humble as i know to be to myself and my HP........thanks for listening......
I lost a dog and a cat this year. It hurts. Glad your dog is ok. I think it will be ok when u get out of work. Just a feeling. I said a prayer for u.
good luck** We also had a horse with a chipped hock bone and were told to put him down. MY wife wanted to give him some time. She prayed, gave him natural products and worked on him with a spiritual healer. He's running around as we speak, like he was never injured. HOPE, Faith and prayer was the answer.
I do Prayer that your baby Lab is o.k. And I Prayer that you are o.k. Panic Attacks are a BITCH. Breathing, deep deep breathing, is what for me can directly "fight back" Panic. Also, saying to myself, over and over, "that everything is O.K., everything is going to be O.K. also helps me to relax the tension in my muscles. The Panic is attacking you and you have to attack back! Lot of fresh air, and breathing.
Dont have them anymore, but they are truly so exhausting, my dear friend. Please let us know how you both are doing in the p.m. I want to know how your baby is and how you are doing.
hey all, thanks for the prayers...MUCHLY appreciated
my old dog "zoe" is so gimpy on her left side, i think she and betsy got into an argument and bets was the one who fell off the couch and landed on the floor...she is doign ok, but old zoe, i have a feeling was part of the "rukus" this am, and she is 11 and just so sore....i am giving her aspirin, and making her stay quiet....i just have a feeling that these two "got into it" and i only saw the ONE dog this am, showing trouble when it could very well be both.....zoe was fine last night now?? sore and hardly walking....so i think she and "bets" got into a squabble.......i am just going to make the "girls" stay quiet and away from each other till things are better..........
thanks to all of U...i went for prayer session with my friends today....its just been one thing after another, so its step THREE for me BIG TIME................ i am turning ALL this over, after i know i have done all i can do.............hugs to all/ rosie
((((rosie)))) I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I'm glad the dogs are alright.
I get that kind of a feeling sometimes associated with my PTSD. The memories and fear get kind of just under the surface and generalized. That's one thing that triggers a craving to drink for me. One thing that helps me now is to try and stay in the present moment.. just the present minute, and remember that God is with me. Wow.. I know what you mean about that God must be an enemy if he let the abuse happen. I've been really angry at God for that, and have worked through that. The feeling of going out of our body is called dissociation and is sometimes the only way we can handle something very overwhelming. I do that too. I'm glad you brought yourself back so you could deal with the situation. WTG!
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
I sure know the horror of beloved pets having scary incidents like you described. I'd advise you, since it sounds so familiar, to watch your pup and see if she has more such episodes. I have two cats who are epileptic (Idiopathic epilepsy-meaning the vet has no idea why it happens!) and both are on phenobarbital twice a day. I watched one of them thrash around for one-2 minutes every two hours or so one night-I stayed up with her and kept a log of the seizures for my vet. (I knew what they were due to the other cat having them earlier, and also I had seen a poor dog having seizures every few minutes at our vet's when another cat was in for cancer surgery and recovery-I prayed for that dog,and I'll never forget Little Bit for introducing me to epilepsy in animals!)
I will pray your dog is OK, but if she seems disoriented any other time(s), please try to note this and call a vet. If this happens more than once in a while, you may have to get her on medicine. I often call my local emergency vet clinic if I have any questions about what my cats are going through. (I have spent enough at that clinic, but they do not always insist I bring my cats in-and they will tell me what I can do to help otherwise, and the advice is free.)
It is good you took action for your dog. Our pets rely on us, and it's great you noticed and could rise above your troubles to help her. Myself, I drove a cat to the emergency clinic when I was drunk one night, a foolish thing to do in many ways, but I couldn't just let her die-and she would have without help. I should have taken another cat with her-he died a day later, but hadn't seemed as bad. I can assure you I will regret my inaction for the rest of my life-but at least Binky was saved, even if Steve wasn't. (I was sort of shell-shocked at the time-I'd given up drinking on November 2nd, then our diabetic cat Daryl died on the 6th and I went back to drinking-on the 7th, I took Binky to the emergency clinic but left Steve partly for financial reasons, and he died on the 8th. I didn't try to quit booze again until late December-I know I hadn't yet really wanted to quit, but I did need to see it wasn't going to be as easy as I'd thought it would be. But having three cats sick and two of them die, and all from similar symptoms, made me feel awful. It was almost anti-climatic when my car's fuel pump AND battery both died a couple days after this-my worst problem then was that I needed to pick up Binky from her fluid therapy at my regualr vet's and the car died when the vet was almost ready to close. I borrowed a friend's car and got Binky home, thank God!)
My best wishes and prayers to you and your dogs. May this have been an isolated incident-but if not, there probably is medicine that can help. God gave us veterinarians for a reason!
(By way, my cats send purrs to your dogs-my old now-gone kitties loved our old lab mix, she was a sweetheart! None of my current cats knew her, but I know they would have loved her-and your dogs, too!)
