Hi The my friend,

Well it sounds like you have experinced one of those moments that they talk about in the AA Book.  "There will come a time when there will be no human defense against the first drink".

I use to think I drank for so many many reasons, but after going through the above experience over 10 years, I discovered that the only reason I drank is because I have the Disease of Alcoholism. And also those moments where I did not have a reason, I just Wanted to Drink.

"Cunning, Baffling and Powerful" are the words that are used to describe Alcoholism.

So, hope and Pray that you will just Climb back into this Recovery Boat.  Speaking for myself, Rob, I am not dissapointed,  I think it might be you that feels dissapointment. Alcohol is very much a depressant, and when the Alcohol wears off, you might feel some depression about picking up, but then the Disease will tell you that to get over the Depression you might experience, that you should continue.   Thats how I experienced this Disease, took it all the way to Incomphrensible Demoralization. (otherwise known as the Gates of Insanity).

A Big Hug to You Rob,

A slip backwards is not a big deal, I hope that this is just a lesson in How Powerful the Disease is.   You have been going through a lot, with the difficult nights, not sleeping well, and just want you to know, or remind you that the ONLY REQUIREMENT is a Desire to Stop Drinking. No one here is going to judge you, I guarantee you that.

So please stay in touch with us, and I have been thinking about you, and about my neck, it has recovered 90%.  Thanks for asking.

My Love to you this morning, I am, we all are here for you today, and all of the future days ahead.  Maybe tomorrow, you can focus on all the HARD WORK you did last week, and let the  dissapointment go, "dust yourself off, pick yourself up, and start all over again"

A Big Hug,  Sissy Toni

Rob, all any of us have is one day at a time.  I hope you start back on track today or tomorrow.  I had a two beer slip abut 19 months ago.  It just showed me that I am powerless over alcohol and tried that much harder to stop.  I use the program of AA and talked about my slip.  I got good feedback and bad feedback,but I was honest and that is what counted just like how your honest.  I hope anyone one of us will be here for you tomorrow,but you never know with alcoholism.  I know if I latch on to the program of AA,the chances are better that I will not drink tomorrow. (((((((((((Huggys))))))))))

God love you Darlin, boy, it was one of those days.  The only difference between you and I is that by being sober, being active in AA, I have more tools to use for those days when I want a drink.  I have a sponser, I have the big book, I have friends who are sober, and I have all the little sayings that are posted all over the halls of AA.  The little yellow book, getting Sober was a great help for me when I first got sober.  I also did 90 meetings in 90 days after coming out of treatment. 

Please keep in mind the HALT syndrome, hungary, angry, lonely, and tired.  When I first got sober, and wanted a drink, and I assessed where I was, I was usually feeling several of those emotions which made me want a drink.  By correcting those feelings, the wanting went away.  If you aren't sure what you are feeling, pick up the proverbial 500 lb phone and talk to someone in the program, they can help.  Believe me, we have all been there. 

The only one you have disappointed is yourself, they say going to AA spoils going back out.  And, it is pretty easy to be depressed when one quits drinking.  I think it is a grieving process we all go thru for a way of life, that while it didn't work well, was familiar.  Starting life over without drinking is scary, but...........I am here to tell you it can be done!!  i am one of the miracles, which I did one day at a time, for almost 7 years now.  I couldn't imagine being sober for 6 months when I first started, and am not sure just how this has happened, but it does.  And I am truly greatful!

You are in my prayers, and everyone who reads your post is pulling for you.  So, you have a lot of people pulling for you. Take care, if I can be of help, that is what I am for.

 

 

Hmm i think i must hav passed out hours ago.. cos i just came round.. but im still really drunk and gona finish what i have.(which is gona get me drunk again). ffs.. sounds so pathetic..  but im loving today.. in some perverse way.. I know im gona be pissed off tomorrow..

ffs not quite the day i planned.. not quite as nice as i hoped..

If it takes me a few days to get back on the wagon.. i hope you guys dont think any less of me.  You guys really are great.. see i decided to drink but im still visinting this website..

OH so know im gona regret this soon..

Well look thanx every one.. speak to you all soon..

Right on, wanda,

I went out Christmas of 2004,,, and got all maudlin.  There is a saying about 'playing the tape all the way through'.  Sometimes we remember the good taste of wine, the nice buzz, the smiley giddiness,,,  and that attracts us. I want that again...  but that is only half of what happened.. and when we play it all the way through,,, which you hinted at,,,  then we remember the hangover, puking, depression, having to wait till it leaves my system before I can really function the way I want to.  Yeah,, I forgot about that,,  so had to go through it again.

I did go back to a meeting...  one immediately after I went down instead of up, and just sat there. I was invited to share, and said that I just felt like I just needed to BE there and that was all.  The next week, at my regular meeting,,  I fessed up and got mixed reactions...  a bit of anger from some,, disappointment and fear from others, a warm welcome back from a few,,,  and one of them said this, which I remember,,  "Oh, so you went out and did some research, eh? and what did you learn from your research?"

So, now, Rob,,  you are 'doing some research'. Let us know what you learn. k?

love in recovery,

amanda