Once when climbing rocks with friends, a woman reached a place she decided was impossible to move beyond. She wanted to retreat, but her belayer encouraged her to try again. She felt angry and scared, and she was stuck. She fought with the rock, but it was clear that the rock was never going to change. Wanting the rock to be different, to grow new footholds or handholds was futile.
After she vented her feelings, she realized there were only two ways out of her predicament. One way was to quit, and the other was to try again, perhaps with a different mind-set than she had before. Staying with her task in spite of her fear, she began to think of the rock as her friend, as a partner who provided a place to climb. She realized that she did not have to make her friend, the rock, change in order to continue climbing. Her thoughts were more focused, and she was able to make her way up the rock.
Sometimes our partner feels like an immovable rock. It is difficult to stop trying to change our partner and focus on ourselves. When we do, we discover a new direction in our relationship, a new view of our partner, and empowerment for ourselves.
I sure don't know about this one ???????????? A rock as a friend??????????
I have a pet rock. Never argues with me, doesn't fight, doesn't rob me of money, food, or treats. I did try to deepen our relationship, without success. It just sits there. It looks exactly the same as it did when I got it 15 years ago,, a little dusty though,,, I've changed a lot. The Indians have a saying, and I think it's kind of Biblical too,, about the solid rock,,, the only things in creation that last forever,, steady, stable, durable. Have you hugged a rock today?
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
