guilt seems to be a reoccurring nightmare that never leaves till you put it to bed. Step up to the plate and hit hard and strong about the truth of any situation and your guilt will diminish, your self esteem will flourish and no matter what you have done, God will forgive you and you will have the best nights sleep in years.
I think the key to truth is being honest with yourself, and, about yourself to others. I had trouble with this for years (trying to be the chameleon). Trying to be what everyone around me expected me to be lead to conflict, confusion, frustration, and guilt, because I could not be EVERYTHING that EVERYONE expected of me. It provided great fuel for my alcoholism, for which I could feel guilty to EVERYONE.
As I have had more and more months of sobriety, I have been finding the most important things that I kept losing when I was drinking- my dignity and self-worth, which are just about the opposite of guilt.
-- Edited by Sick of being sick at 08:17, 2006-02-18
There is true guilt and false guilt. We address our true guilt in this program by doing Steps 4 and 5 in admitting our wrongdoings; Steps 6 and 7 in asking God to remove our defects; and in Steps 8 and 9 by making amends to those that we have hurt. To just come to not feel our guilt is a form of denial. But then to sort out false guilt, like not being a doctor like my mother wanted me to be, from true guilt like I really did take out my frustrations in insulting and abusing other people; and then let God sort it out and remove the shortcoming that really need to be removed; and then making the amends necessary, are effective ways to deal with real guilt and be able to move on to a more constructive and healthy life.
love in recovery,
amanda
__________________
do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Thanks Sick of being sick, I'm right there with you. For someone who has been struggling for nine years and do know so many of the right things "TO DO", it never ceases to amaze me how foolish I am and how I seem to have such strong self destructive behavior. I also "know" the people who are good for me and the meetings that help me, however, I go through very unsocial periods where I dont want to be around people and dont want to socialize so I'm so very grateful for the computer age and the net and the fact that we finally have a computer. We are in a very rural area so getting to meetings isn't always doable coupled with the fact that we live literally "in the bush" so our road out isn't always passable in the winter. God really does work in amazing ways!!!!!! This new found freedom is a great life line for me. Thanks to you and all who participates. Sue B.
MIP Oldtimer: I get your guilt about speaking up and being dragged around town. Same thing happened at a meeting I attended and I brought it to the attention of our reps. Nothing was done about it and it created some major problems. People left the group permanently, feelings were hurt, some even relapsed. My point about this is (as pointed out by a wise Oldtimer) when attending closed meetings you dont have to spill your inner most secrets to the whole room. I'm not implying you keep quiet, just talk about the step itself or how it helped you or even a helpful experience you could share and possibly keep the more sensitive stuff for your Sponsor or a trusted member. I didn't understand this in the beginning, I thought we were to get it all out and I just let her fly.......jumping head first into the lions den. Its a difficult mistake to learn so maybe this can help clarify a bit for fellow alcoholics, because lets not forget, we are all sick individuals who are in fact human and we do make mistakes. Sobriety is a wonderful thing but don't forget it doesn't make us above everyone else. Putting sober members on a pedestal can sometimes be your downfall. Learning daily Sue B.
oh, wow,, sue.. we posted at exactly the same time! I just want to thank you for those perspectives, and I really agree. As Phil says, 'I am here because I'm not all there.'
I'm glad to see you participating on the board, and I hope you continue.
love in recovery,
amanda
__________________
do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Sue B.