3 weeks tomorrow since I had a drink, in some respects it`s fairly straightforward to have broken the habit, in other ways not. Here`s a thing that`s bothering me, I`d value you guys and your imput...I`m beginning to recognise that some of the dreadful decisions I`ve made have been influenced by drinking, but others are down to myself. In short, despite the fact that alcohol has affected my thinking processes over the past 10 years or so, I just cannot expect the world to turn in my favour and life to be a bowl full of cherry picking opportunities for me to indulge in, just because I`m not drinking.
I suspect I thought that it would be and that all my minor and major failings would be swept aside as I became some super human during sobreity, humility is a wonderful quality I guess.
Sleep is still a major problem, tiredness likewise, I`m now recognising that I have been in some respects ill and that the recovery is only just starting as the poison vacates my system....I just do not feel that much different physically, although I did for the first few days of giving up..if that makes sense It is as though the novelty has worn off..
I have my biggest test next week, wife and the kids are off to London for a week, I`m setting myself a time table for small re-furb jobs around the house for the barren moments..
Sounds like you are doing good, but I have a question for you. have you made a decision to do this alone, or are you open to checking out meetings, is there a lot of fear around this question, and I don't know where you live, but are meetings available to you?
The general idea is that the 1st year is the phyical detox from Alcohol, so if you are not feeling that robust feeling you felt initially, I think that is to b expected. The body does have miraculous abilities to heal. So it depends on a number of issues. Have you talked to your doctor about your situation.
As far as the next week coming up, where you will be alone, the only thing I can recommend to you is that you try to check out an A. A. Meeting, I think you would only feel relief. A room full of Recovering Alcoholics is usually a pretty lively and cheerful group of folks.
I ask these questions, because my own experience with Recovery, was that I could not have made it without the meetings. We all have degrees of the Disease, and I'm pretty certain, that I took the Disease way farther down the line than you did, in fact, I am certain, I did.
We as a group support in your efforts and congratulate you with your progress. Somewhere in the Book of Alcoholic Anonymous, it talks about the moments when an Alcoholic will not have a human defense against a drink. I personally experienced that many, many times, and would not wish that on anyone. Especially not someone trying as hard as you are.
I think already mentioned to you that my feeling is that AA would be the place to "get that sense of assurance", or Insurance against those moments that a lot of us have gone thru.
You don't have to do it alone, the Program is a WE Program.
Sending my love, and best wishes to you,
Toni
P.S. Did you ever check out the online AA Book. That is a book every Alcoholic should not miss. And you can read it just like this little guy is doing. TeHe.
Pauly wrote: I just cannot expect the world to turn in my favour and life to be a bowl full of cherry picking opportunities for me to indulge in, just because I`m not drinking. I suspect I thought that it would be and that all my minor and major failings would be swept aside as I became some super human during sobreity.....Sleep is still a major problem, tiredness likewise...... as the poison vacates my system....
Hi Pauly, Congrats on 3 Weeks.
My ES&H. I WENT to AA for my drinking, I STAY in AA for my THINKING.
Oldtimers Rule of Thumb, it takes one month for every year you drank to feel better. Some days I have to take a nap to get ready for bed Listen to your body.
If you haven't seen an MD yet, I would suggest if it's possible to do so.
Love and Hugs
Keep on Keeping on!
-- Edited by Doll at 19:49, 2006-02-15
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
Pauly, it sounds like you are progressing actually pretty well, and being more realistic in expectations. I also thought that life would be just wonderful after a year of recovery,,, and found it is more that I would experience a life with average trials and tribulations, but learn better coping skills and have a healthier support group in some AA people who are ahead of me on the recovery journey.
You have achieved pretty well,,, day by day,, the not drinking part,,,, and recognized your need to address the stinking thinking part. Have you gotten any literature? or attended any meetings?
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Thanks all as always for the support and kind words, I`m doing fine so far without thoughts of AA meetings etc. No disrespect to those that find it (AA) a help and comfort, but I`ll plod along myself initially, I`m a private person, which is why I prefer the anonymity of this forum as a help. That`s not to say things may change.
I'm Mike and an alcoholic in Boston, MA. I don't post often, but visit this site nearly everyday. First of all, well done on the three weeks plus. Like Amanda said, you seem to be doing well for three weeks. My experience in sobriety has been that life gets better and better and better. And then, just when you think it can't... it gets better. Keep at it... keep connected... and stay the course. There will be pitfalls, but as others have said, you will be better equipped to handle them. I could fill this page with stuff that has happened to me in sobriety that would have crushed me when I was drinking. It didn't. I was once a daily whiskey swilling lonely guy with absolutely nothing going on. Now I'm a DAD (yahoo)!, a husband, a doctoral candidate - life is good.
Suggestion for when the wife is away - try to pick up some of the AA literature - particularly Living Sober and the Big Book. It's actually easy to read and informative. Keep going - keep posting - and keep sober! Mike in Boston
It is as though the novelty has worn off..
Listen to your body.