Thank God MY craving has been lifted. You want to talk about a "reason" to drink. My 15 yr old is facing JAIL time in just a few short days. He made some bad choices, he put himself in the situation. I MUST accept the outcome. I MUST believe nothing happens in God's world by mistake. I MUST believe that this too shall pass. I MUST believe he will be OK.
So ya'll go ahead and feel sorry for yourselves that you didn't get a valentine! Or your kids are misbehaving, or your gift was misinterprested, Or you're alone or whatever all that Bullshit is about. There are people in this world with REAL problem. Work your god damn program and quit your bitchin OR
HAVE A DRINK BUT PLEASE JUST QUIT YOUR BITCHIN'
I'm working mine and guess what? IT'S WORKING!
DONE!
-- Edited by Doll at 14:00, 2006-02-15
__________________
* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
Doll, I'm so sorry you are going through this with your son. Thank God you are sober and can go through it with him. You are both in my prayers.I raised a daughter and a son...they are my heart, I understand.My son is still trying his wings.
I also thank God that when I need to vent no matter how big or how small I usually feel this board or an AA meeting is a safe place to do it , as you just did.
Just because I'm not going through the big stuff right doesn't mean my stuff isn't mine. Just went through fore-closure on the house, husband is in state rehab for possibly two years, watching my Mom slip away just a little more each day, needing to see a Dr. myself and having to wait to get into a income based clinic at the end of the month....
Please don't try to carry the load all alone...that's what we are here for. To be honest, share our experience and share how we made it through to the other side with-out drinking...I have 21 years of sobriety and I've had my share of problems. The death of my father and a precious still born grand-baby,those are the two that ripped my heart out, and I did it sober, felt every minute of it and I know I can go through anything sober, with my God. We are each different, not one of us the same...just all alcoholic...and we all deal differently.
Talk to us, vent, scream, kick, holler, cry...but know I'm here for you in the good times, indifferent times and the terrible ,heart breaking, down right scary times.
Just because I'm not going through the big stuff right doesn't mean my stuff isn't mine.
I know, Rose. I know. Thank you for reminding, though.
Didn't mean to make my stuff unique or more important. As you said, I just needed to vent and what I posted is what I feel ~ they tell me to do that in my HG....
Love and Hugs.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
__________________
* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
What you wrote about today, has to be one of the toughest things to go through.
So I am praying that because your son is so young, it will have a good turnaround for him. And I do believe too, all we can do is Pray, be there for them, love them.
Been there, and then some, it can be so friggen freightening. But I walked thought it, and watched my poor son's life go right down the toilet. One of the main reasons I suffer from a depression sometimes. I can't control things. Cannot change things, have to try to Reach for Acceptance on my son's fate. We write to each other often, that is as good as it gets.
So my thoughts and prayers are with you and your son.
lol Doll, it sounds like you're saying that nobody here can bitch but you. lol.. like your problem with your son is a REAL problem and nobody else has real problems. hoookay. I guess you are entitled to your venting,,, even if you don't think other people should vent. I'm actually biting my tongue here, and could say a lot more,,, but will refrain.
The cravings for alcohol aren't there all the time for me,, but there are things that do trigger it. I was told by many AA people that when I do get a craving to contact other AA people who will support me in my struggle until I get through it. So that is what I do. You can judge me if you want. I am actually glad that some others were there though. I feel better today.
I remember when my son was 15 and his alcoholism was starting to show. I remember that he didn't come home sometimes and I had to look for him, and found him a few times across the street at a neighbor's house, that I learned were active alcoholics, and he was passed out there. Those were horrible times. So I do understand REAL problems. I am sorry you have to also face dealing with your children's problems as children of alcoholics themselves. It's as hard on them as it is on us. They have some REAL problems with us alcoholics. I'll put you in prayer. It was because of those problems at that time that I went into recovery. It was the best thing I could do to help my child,,, go into recovery myself. Today we are both in recovery, and doing much better.
God bless you,
amanda
__________________
do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Amanda, I was NOT judging you or anyone else. And I never said no one but me was allowed to bitch! I was venting what was in my heart! Just as you did.... So, you take it for whatever you wish. But never, NEVER put words to my posts that are not there.
I guess my sponsor is right, some get it, some never do.
-- Edited by Doll at 22:28, 2006-02-15
__________________
* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
((((((((Doll))))))))))) my 15 year old girl meets with her probation officer today. My girl will not pass the drug test,nor has she been going to school. She is looking at going to a girl's home til perhaps she is 18. I know I have done all I could for her,so i just pray and go about "my day". She herself has made a life for herself with bad choices and her days are all about being with her friends or getting high. At least our kids are young enough to have the law step in and perhaps change them before they hit adult age. I never would have though my girl would be on probation,it's still hard to take,but I'm greatful that now she will be forced to take a look at where her life is going. Good luck with your son and I hope they give him an alternitive!
yep,,, it's true,,, some get it and some never do. I was going to ask about who gets to judge who is getting it and who is not? Who decides who is a 'winner' and who is not? Me, I think God is my judge. I look around at the groups that I participate in,,, and I see allll kinds of people, coming from alll kinds of places,,, mental places and physical environments. I live in a fairly large city with lots of kinds of meetings to go to. Some of them have a high number of mandated people,,, and some have professionals on their lunch hour,, some have a lot of people who've been in the program for many years, and some are beginners' meetings. Their shares are from many different perspectives. We do have some basic rules about venting,,, that they are not supposed to be personal attacks on others, although we can respectfully disagree. We don't all like each other. The fastidious business man whom no one would imagine has a drinking problem and the disheveled and reeking homeless man would probably not find in common otherwise. But it says somewhere that although we may not like each other we do come to have a special love for each other as a result of the AA program.
It looks like we alcoholics have a high rate of children who are dysfunctional and getting into trouble... and no wonder. They have been raised by us dysfunctional alcoholics. Sometimes it is necessary to take them out of the home, and off the streets, and into a controlled envioronment and then put into rehabilitation. God can and does work good out of things that seem bad. We alcoholics can't say that we don't know why our kids are alcoholics too.
The answer is ..... AA recovery. First for us, so that we can be better parents... focussing on our own self -improvement... and not trying to blame the world, others that don't get it, or our kids. I had to admit that I was a lousy parent who was unable to teach my child coping skills, social skills and behaviors that I didn't have myself. I went into recovery first,,, and made my amends to my child,,, and now we are both in recovery.
that is my experience, strength and hope,,,, take what you need and leave the rest,
amanda
__________________
do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
amanda2u2 wrote: lots of kinds of meetings to go to..... We do have some basic rules about venting,,, that they are not supposed to be personal attacks on others....
Good thing this a Recovery Forum or you'd be screwed too !!!
__________________
* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
It might be interesting to y'all to check out the family teens board, to get an idea of what the children of us alcoholics go through, how they feel, what their struggles are. It ain't easy being our children. It wasn't easy for us to be the children of dysfunctional people either. Sometimes they are angry people who also take their frustrations out and vent in kind of destructive ways,, like we do. The alcohol is just a symptom,, of the stinking thinking that is the real cause of it.
I'm so grateful that we got into recovery. We're not perfect, but we are leading constructive lives now. Praise God. Our kids qualify for alanon programs. It helps them to learn how to deal with our stinking thinking, and how to learn better social and coping skills than we have taught them.
love in recovery,
amanda
__________________
do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Not every bad choice that my son makes can be based on the fact that he "qualifies for alanon" ! This one comes down to a cut and dry case of him trying to be "MR. Cool" for his friends! There are several of them that are involved in this, and my son is the only one who's parent(s) is an alcoholic!!! Excellent cop out theory, though.....
Bottom line ~ being a teenager ain't easy !!! And their brains don't always work!!!
__________________
* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
well, Doll, the rest of us have to admit our part in being dysfunctional parents, making amends, encouraging our kids to recover. You are certainly right that not every single thing that a kids does is directly attributable to our alcoholism,,, but it ain't me that is copping out, deary. I used to work in the juvenile justice system. At 15 he is a juvenile, and the parents are still considered ultimately responsible for their children, and must come in, and must participate in the process, unless they are considered incapable at this point and the child is removed and placed elsewhere. Sorry,, hard truth. Next year, at 16 a parent can more easily say that the child's choices are made freely and carried out independently.
enough of this thread,, I'm done with it,
amanda
-- Edited by amanda2u2 at 09:14, 2006-02-17
__________________
do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
