Well, here it is again,,, snuck up on me this time,, but now I recognize the triggers. I thought I was getting through the day alright,,, well,,, maybe I am, but not without the urge to drink. I don't know... reasons? Valentine's Day alone, working alone, gave a gift that freaked someone out, both the gift and the giver. It all brings up the old feelings of alienation, self- hatred, guilt, shame, hopelessness,,, Janis Joplin. Well, only a few hours left until I can get into oblivion by sleep, if not booze. H.A.L.T.
Anyone else having a hard time? or am I the only 'loser' here?
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Well I do not feel like drinking today, but I am not too crazy about being here either today, (here) like here on earth.
It has to be Valentines day I think, it is messing with my head big time too. You are not alone, wish there was some other way to get to oblivion, that did not involve drinking, I was thinking of going to bed, and hiding under the covers for the rest of the day, but because I am not tired at all, that won't work, either.
Don't drink, NO Matter What, is so deeply embedded in this little brain of mine. Why don't we both just chalk it to one of the worst days of the year, if I think of it like that then I can get through it.
I personally am going to make some of what I call "comfort" food, a big plate of speghitti tonight, and go to bed early. Real early, like 7:30 or 8:00.
So my sister, you are not alone in your misery, and lets face it Misery does Love Company, I had posted earlier about having a really bad day, and I was actually attracted to your Post! HA HAHA!
Now, I am actually Laughing, for the first time today, We do have to remember to Laugh at Life, when making Lemonaide out of Lemons doesnt have any real appeal.
So, maybe go buy youself the biggest Ice Cream Sunday, (no that probably wont work, with all the snow).
Just wanted you to know you are not alone over there. This too shall pass!
What made things worse for me today, I went to a meeting where everyone, was so friggen gay and happy, I left before the little party they had planned after the meeting.
So I was descibing my day as a day of being hit by a big Mack Truck, and maybe I'll have to revise my thinking, It was truck alright, but it was full of a million Lemons.
And that gift part, don't worry about that, no matter what the gift was, your intentions are what mattered. So good for you, I didn't give any anything.
ES & H. ES & H, not around today, but probably will show up tomorrow. I am going to make a Gratitude List, even thou I Don't really want to!
And think about all the good things you have to done to your place, don't forget that. It is so hard for us to be good to ourselves. Right.
And for those that might read this share, and think Yiks! It is what it is.
Amanda, I am saying a prayer for you right now, so no matter what, don't drink! It would only make things a whole BUNCH Worse than there are.
yeah,, that headbanging one is about how I feel. Well,, okay... let's accept that this is how we feel,, but we're not going to drink over it,,, we're going to work our Steps all the more to get thru it. I'm not going to cry in my beer. I'm not going to sit on my pity pot. I'm grateful that I could put up a post and that someone would be my friend. Thank you, toni.
The gift... it is something that I gave to the doctor who saved my life. but he didn't expect it, so when I called and told him I had something for him,, he didn't know what to do, and he avoided me. But it is a great gift. Maybe he'll figure it out later. The fact that it came on Valentine's Day and is wrapped in red is completely coincidence. He's a married young man.
Well, and I'm not gonna think, well very much, about what today is 'supposed to be'. The things that failed,,, just let them go.
I know very well what you mean about not wanting to be here on earth,,, the thing is that God has us here on earth. And I guess He's got His reasons.
I think that's a good idea,, to do a gratitude list. And as far as e,s &h not being here,,, I think they are. It is not always Pollyanna, but sometimes just walking with someone thru something. Thank you,
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
You are sober and facing your demons, that means you are NOT a loser! I know you have shared your strength and hope here in the past, you have helped me and others- So even if we are unattached (which seems to be much simpler if somewhat less exciting) we aren't alone-
Amanda, I know it's been awhile since you posted this and I hope you didn't take that drink. I know that there is always alot of talk in the rooms about holidays and special days being hard for us as alcoholics....so that is what is to be expected.But thank God we have a program and people to vent to.
I was suppose to go to a meeting tonight but stayed home instead, watched TV....I'm not feeling good and decided that was a good enough excuse to sit at home. But I think it was just that I was feeling a little blue and didn't want to be with the jolly ones or with the other unhappy ones. That's okay as long as I don't make a habit of it , when I start to isolate I get in trouble.
Gratitude...I'm grateful for a warm house, that I had another day with my Mom, I got a sweet letter from my Granddaughter written on paper with hearts on it, that I'm sober and sane ...and for AA and the MIP board.
I'm with ya'll, work the steps and keep on keeping on.
not being an expert at this not drinking thing im sorry and ill pray for you,it seems to work for me (praying that is)im sorry i havent been around to help you (as if i could)but at least i could have talk with you my screen is allways on and opend for you i realy hope things get better talk to you laster
benny
keep youre head up every once and a while there is a little hill to climb befor you can decend to the next one(hope this helps ya you are loved )
Yes I stuggle too but evvery day is getting a bit easier. Funny isnt it how it creeps up and jumps on you when you are not expecting it. Hang in there and so will I!!! Love Trudi
I havent read all of the postes on this page.. but iv read enuf to keep me from going to the off license to get drink.. its gona be closed in less than a minute and the option to get more will be closed.. .. infact i think it did jsut close.. i have drank tonight but i cant drink any more.. .. so i cant go ott and get completely smashed...... soz.. i guess thats not what most people wana hear..
