Just right now I feel so very low like life is worth nothing I have two beautiful kids and every day I think I will live just for them and then they start hitting me or playing up by throwing things and I feel helpless again. At the moment I am truly finding it hard to live life on lifes terms and I despersately want something to 'make me fel better' but I know that will only be temporary. Will things get better? I am just hanging in there!
We all have bad kid days that's for sure! Try to get out to a meeting or something to lift your spirits. Shopping always helps me. I'm old fashion,if a kid hits me, I hit them back or if they are too young,time out is a good one. Throwing things calls for time out's too, or get things taken away from them. I have an autistic 4 year old that I have to stand with him in time out,so if you need to hold them there,then you have to,but hitting poor mom is a no no!
Trudi, I'm sorry you are having a bad day. I'm glad you came here to vent. As Zoomie said a meeting might be what you need, call someone in the program to share with. Just know that drinking never makes things better, always added to my problems.
Children can be hard to deal with,do you have other Moms you can share with about the kids? Living life on lifes terms can be hard ...and I'm so glad we can come here to vent.
Life on life's terms, some days that are not good, are the ones that I have to remember will Pass.
I lost my best friend, Annie, she was my cat, and she always, always, made my heart so happy, and with it being Heart day today, I was thinking of her all morning and thinking of her absence made me cry non stop, until I was ready to go to a meeting. Which I just came home from. So today, I feel very sad, the meeting was just a reminder to me, watching everyone sharing someones birthday, and all having a great time, that there are days when I can feel a part of that. Just not today.
The topic was how to know what God's Will is. I did manage to share, that I don't have any idea what God's Will is. I only know that when I don't get out of my own way, there is the absence of God's Will. I believe that when we as Alcoholics can go thru life, and when we go thought each day without Alcohol, we do get an understanding of God's Grace. That I can say for sure I do feel, most of the time, but as I mentioned, only when I can manage to stay out of my own way.
You do sound like you have your hands full with your Children. The other moms here have given you some good advice.
A very good therapist taught me how to honor whatever feelings come up, and when they are unpleasant, like today's sadness in me, that I don't run or try to escape the sadness, just let it be there, and there is a built guarantee that it will pass into another feeling.
I hope your day will turn around for you, that can happen too.
When I get off this computer I am going to make myself a little Gratitude List, just five things I am grateful for. That helps me too.
Another thing I wanted to mention about having Bad days, an old Sponsor used to ask me to look at the day, at the end of the day, and try to understand, that if I did not drink, it was actually, a perfect day. Maybe not so good a day, but A Perfect Day for this Alcoholic.
So I hope you keep Posting, and let us know how you are getting though the day, today and tomorrow. My prayers are with you.
Love, and a Big Recovery Hug to you, Toni,
There is a Whole Bunch of Love Around right here, and it helps through these days.
T H I S T O O S H A L L P A S S
Are you planning a meeting today, meetings really do change things.
Wow, Trudi, sounds like days i can remember well, I had 5 ranging from twins almost 5 to a new born, thought about committing suicide, just kidding, but doesn't it seem like they always push the hardest when you feel the least like handling it? If you can arrange a babysitter, get out,, out to a meeting, out to the mall, out to a movie, out for a walk, just OUT!! If you can't, take the kids for a walk, go to the park, let them run, run, run, wear them out, bring them home, let them take a nap, and you can take a long, soothing bath. If they don't want to sleep, they can have a "quiet" hour on their beds with a book. That still gives you an hour of peace. Time for yourself is soooooo important!! set your schedule so you can get some.,, you are the most important person in your home, so take good care of yourself. Raising kids is the most important job in the world, and you are part of that, feel proud of yourself, your are a good lady. I remember feeling so outnumbered, and I was! But, the kids are grown now, and some of my most cherished memories are of those days, and this too will pass, and I am here to testify that you do survive!! A sense of humor is vital. Many, many hugs to you, you surely deserve them. Thank you for sharing and bringing back some memories.
I agree with wanda. My child was the center of my life, and my reason for living, and everything to me. but that is a hard role for children to be in. They can't fill all our needs, and then things get out of balance, and then everyone gets frustrated, and then we start fighting and then.... We need to have other people and things in our lives, and so do they. Then, when things are balanced and we rejoin each other after school, or an outing, we can enjoy each other better. It was also helpful when grandma came over, or the people upstairs offered to give me a couple of hours break.
God bless you,
amanda
__________________
do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Thanks everyone for taking time to reply to my post, all your advice has been invaluable. I feel much better now and as they say 'this too will pass' and it did! Thanks everyone. Trudi
T H I S T O O S H A L L P A S S