Hi There,

Well first, have you looked into getting some outside help with the panic attacks. Try this website: http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm  It is about the symtoms and treatment for Post Acute Withdrawal. 

My experience with years of heavy drinking was that because Alcohol is a depressant, and when you stop, i had a residual Depression, lots of anxiety, and some feelings of panic about how do I do this.

The first year for me was physical withdrawal, and that was very unpleasant, but I used the Program ever day, and read so much in that time.  Held on to the hope, sometimes by my fingernails, that things would get better.  And they did.

Are you going to meetings, did you get a sponsor, reading the Big Book,  all these recomendations, I did follow, finally, because I did not want to go back to drinking, no matter what.  That last part, I plastered on my brain. No Matter what.

But if you are continuing to feel as bad as that, my recommdation is strong that you get some medical help with that depression, anxiety, and Panic Attacks.  That is a pretty unbearable combination, even with using the Program - Full Blast. There are medications to use to help with these symtoms, and I agree with Rick, dont let people in meetings diminish what you are going thru, if there are blowing it off to early sobriety, they have not walked in your shoes.

So I am going to say a Prayer for you that you make some phone calls,  there is HELP out there for what you are going thru.

(Just my take on something, I used to drink, because I was unhappy in my marriage, unhappy with the constant arguing with a step son,  I drank because I felt a discontent with every aspect of my life - so I thought)  The BIG REVELATION Came when I could finally SEE, that I drank only for one reason, not for all the above, I drank BECAUSE I was an alcoholic, there was NO other reason.  I just could not see it, like being blindsighted to the real truth about why I drank.

When I began working the Steps,  espeically that first one, that I was powerless over Alcohol, and secondly that my life was unmanageable - due to the first part!   It was a Huge Wake Up call for my, the veil had been lifted, and I did not have to live in that darkness anymore.

So my friend, I am truly sorry, that you are suffering to that degree, but if you reach out for that extra help - I guarantee you it is there for you.  You are not alone in this struggle.

You might want to buy a book on the Subject of Post Accute Withdrawal, to see where you might fit. and when you can identify youself with any of these symtoms, you can take the suggested follow thru.  Gorksy had devoted his life to Relapse Prevention and Post Acute Withdrawal and the serious nature of the two.  So please let me, (us hear from you, and stay on this Board please, we are all right there with you, and want to see you get some relief.

I had over 10 years of set backs in Recovery, and feel now in hindsight that a lot it had to do with this Acute Post Withdrawal stuff that I didn't know about. Do not want to see you go thru that.

My Love and Prayers to you Flumpy,

Your sister in Recovery,Toni

 P...S.   yes i did feel like you and   NO, you are not  going crazy,  some of us have gone thru hell to get here. and finally YES. YES, and YES, it goes get better.

The Big Book tells us very clearly that drinking is just a symptom.

When I drank, my life was unmangeable. When I stopped drinking I realized that my life was always unmanageable, therefore I drank! To forget, to procastinate, to not feel anything. Sober 6 months and life is not a bed of roses, but it is so much better  and I know today that a drink will not solve anything, it will only make it worse.

As suggested all ready, please see a professional MD who is acquainted with alcohol addiction. You could possibly have some health issues and it's best to be safe.

You are not alone........... Love and hugs.